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mediation issues

3 replies

unhappyandstressed · 06/09/2012 14:20

my ex went ahead and arranged mediation after we discussed it, I agreed it's a good idea to have an objective 3rd party to help us work out contact arrangements and divorce stuff. But I'm getting so stressed. Our baby is 9 weeks old and EBF, I can't take him with me to the meetings which are over an hour drive away (the only option because its a rural area here). So today I drove there, having put my 2yo into childcare, with my mum to babysit the baby for the hour I was in the meeting (initial assessment). But the mediator just didn't turn up.

I now have no confidence in the process, feel really let down, and can't see how I am actually going to manage to juggle two tiny children on my own (mum usually works 4 hours away) just to attend, let alone thinking about the actual issues. Is there anything else I can do? What do you do if you both want mediation but for practical issues you just can't make it work? We need to resolve things amicably if possible - desperately want to avoid more solicitors/court etc as I'm stressed enough - but this seems so unlikely to work out.

Can counsellors or doctors or anyone else offer a mediation service, or do you have to use a proper family law mediator if it ends up looking like conflict anyway? I'm feeling so worn down by all of this now :(

OP posts:
ChocHobNob · 06/09/2012 20:41

Can you not meet up with a third party who is a friend or family member to just have a chat? If you're both wanting to keep it amicable and work something out, do you really need a mediator or could you try between you?

RedHelenB · 06/09/2012 20:41

Can't you just decide it between you?

balia · 06/09/2012 21:03

Outrageous that the mediator didn't turn up. But try not to give up, it can be a really worthwhile process and it is for the good of the kids in the long run (plus much cheaper than court).

Is there any common ground at the moment? Could you think about a schedule of compromise? Eg ex wants whatever you are not happy with right now, but you could meet him halfway in 6 months, working towards XYZ in a year (if kids are happy) etc?

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