Hello, I don't post often, but do tend to lurk, and wanted to see if you had a bit of advice.
Ex left me when DS was only 6 months old. At the time I asked him what he wanted to do about parenting of DS, and did he want to look at 50/50 custody. He declined this and instead insisted he would DS as and when his job allowed. It wasn't long before I went back to work after maternity leave and he just could not seem to grasp that I was unable to accommodate him visiting and or/ taking DS out as and when he pleased, nor that it wasn't the best thing for our young DS. For a long while sorting visits was been a battle with him, as he got angry whenever I am not able to suit him.
Recently things have changed and he is acting very differently and trying to be friends. I'm cycnical but going along with it for the sake of DS. I was invited to a party for the first birthday of DS's cousin (Ex's side of the family) who is about 9 months younger than DS.
I was quite surprised by the invite as Ex's family have made it quite clear that they see our split as choosing sides and they are firmly on Ex's. They don't call me, and are only involved with DS through Ex. I have tried to maintain contact and invited all of them to DS's christening and to DS's first birthday. None of them turned up on his birthday, some came to the church for the christening but not to the reception after. Despite my trying to make effort with them it's like it's a closed door for me.
However at the party I found out that the father of the birthday girl (my ex's brother) has also walked out on his partner, and was not present at the party. Many members of Ex's family then proceeded to have a conversation with me about how awful it was that he wasn't there for his daughters birthday, and how he is acting so dreadfully (lots of examples I could give but would make this even longer).
It made me so angry. I wanted to scream - 'yes but Ex did the same to me. Ex didn't come to his son's birthday, and actually you should count yourself lucky because at least his side of the family are here for you, support you, talk to you, and turn up for her birthday. A lot more than I ever got.'
I'm finding it hard not to feel quite angry and resentful. I did the best I could do to make things amicable, despite not being the one who wanted to split. Ex made things so difficult and blamed me so much because things weren't going exactly the way he wanted. All I wanted was for things to be right for DS. It feels like it was a battle with Ex and his family, but now it has happened again they are acting completely differently. I feel short changed.
How do I get over it?