At what point does saying "no" become unreasonable behaviour?

[oatsandbeans]

Can a parent with less contact, demand and expect to have contact (including overnights) whenever s/he desires even if the parent with majority of contact does not think its good for a child to be shipped back and forth like cargo?

At what point does a "refusal" to agree to demands become unreasonable behaviour?

Sorry to be so non-specific!

Demand, no... Ask, yes

Depends what the reasons are for refusal...would it make any difference if a polite request was made, would the response be the same?

You are not being unreasonable at all. A child needs a recognisable routine of contact IMO

Well no crack because as a child grows, starts school etc contact is bound to change. This time of year usually sees a shift in patterns.

IMO op needs to provide more info. Is contact arranged via court, what is being requested etcp

Eh? If the routine changes you can plan and explain/consult the child in advance!

I suppose it would be down to a court/cafcass, really, as everyone has a different perspective on what is reasonable and really without knowing the age of the child and the current amount of contact any comment would have to be so general as to be of no use whatsoever!

It might help, though, not to describe the process of shared care as 'shipped back and forth like cargo' - it is pretty offensive, TBH, and could apply to any situation in which a child stays overnight with anyone; sleepovers, grandparents...

40% contact is acceptable, its not for an RP to decide they are being "shipped about like cargo" when talking about contact with an NRP, if that NRP is a decent and loving parent.

If that NRP is a piece of shit, well thats a different story.

But if the kid has no idea which bed they will sleep in from one night to the next then they are being shipped about like cargo.

I put my foot down with exp because he wanted to have dd when it suited him with no regard for her routine etc. I didn't give him any less contact than he asked for - he ended up with more - but I did insist on a schedule that dd could get used to. Cafcass were v supportive in that respect.
Dd is really enjoying her contact with her dad now and knows when she will see him next and what the plan is. She is nearly 3 and this stuff is much more important with younger children - older kids can life toward sorting out their own contact time.

OP hasnt said how old, mine has moved between dads and mine since tiny (exh job does not allow for a regular pattern), this works well for us and mine has always simply been brought up to think they have 2 homes, albeit with a lot more time spent with me.

Routine can be achieved by both parents following a routine, it doesn't have to be achieved by same night every week contact.

oatsandbeans - I had exactly this situation with my Ex. Things have settled a bit now but for a long while he got very angry and deemed me unreasonable because I couldn't accommodate him as and when he wanted - different times, days, lengths every week. As a single mother with a job that sort of irregularity can be extremely difficult to accommodate.

I think where I drew the line, and where I would say you are being reasonable is if a request for contact is made, and you are able to accommodate it without oodles of fuss and changing plans at the last minute then you should, but should also be discussing how to get something that is regular and stable for DC, if not able to be tied to a weekly routine.

If you are refusing simply because you don't like the way he asked, or aren't wiling to compromise unless a weekly schedule is agreed, then I might be inclined to think this is a bit unreasonable. Its important for DC to have a relationship with both parents, and not always feasible for a myriad of reasons for this to be ina regular routine.