Dd starving after contact advice please

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Dd 2.10 is a few weeks into court ordered contact. Exp is obliged to feed her and this was part of a later pick up time negotiated. There have been about 6 of these contact sessions now and every time we get in the car dd begs for food - I am supposed to be able to put her to bed. Obviously I don't object to feeding her but overnight contact is due to start soon and I'm feeling v uncomfortable any it. Calling solicitor to discuss.
I have no fOod problems with dd and she quite happily asks for more at the table or days she has had enough. It's actually been a while since she was fussy enough to need alternatives offered if she objects to the main meal.
I don't have direct contact with exp and goIng on recent legal contact I'm not sure he'd tell the truth about what's happening at meal times at his house.
AIBU to be concerned about overnight contact starting?
My gut feeling is that dd is not yet settled into this contact pattern let alone ready for another change.

I'm not quite clear about what's happening here, are you worried your ex isn't feeding your DD during contact time? Or enough? If that's the case, yes I think you have cause for concern.

So what should you do about it? Send DD with extra food? Call social services if she's coming home starving hungry? Have a word with your ex? I don't know what the answer is but there's just a few suggestions.

I can't speak directly to ex and I think he might lie. I don't want to accuse of anything because he was quite good with feeding dd before the split but he is very fussy about what she is allowed to eat plus he had to be forced to sit with her at meal times. I don't feel like the contact can progress unless I get a straight answer about what's going on

talk to your HV, mine is very helpful with these kinds of things and has given great advice, plus offered to talk to my ex on my behalf. It's a genuine welfare concern and she will also log your chat in her records, which can be useful later on to show when concerns have been raised if they escalate. HTH

Yes I second getting the HV to document it then it's logged for future if this continues.

Do you not have any contact when he drops her off?

No contact I collect her from a 3rd party. I will speak to HV as she was v helpful with a parenting row recently. Thanks all

I think you need to find out if she is being offered food. It is not unusual for a child to turn down unfamiliar food and refuse to eat them. If she is being fussy she doesn't need alternatives offering as that will just encourage it. My DS is 7 and if he has tea with ex, still asks for tea when he gets home. I've no doubt he's eaten but it's just a familiar thing to eat together at home before bed. I would suggest making sure you have a healthy snack to hand for her.

Fannyb - I think this might be what's going on or similar but this week dd was sooo hungry I'm not sure. I have fed her on every occasion obviously but to me it's an indicator she's not quite ready for extended contact

My stepchildren aged 8 and 10 come to our house at 10.30am on a saturday morning, and they say everytime that they are starving and havent had breakfast.

For the rest of the day they eat us out of house and home.

When they are dropped off, we then get nasty text messages saying that the kids have gone home starving and saying they havent had their tea!

I think kids just do this in general, say they havent had food when they have etc. I dont think it necessarily means hes not feeding her. For all you know your DD could be saying shes starving as soon as she walks through the door of his house when you have fed her.

Thanks little - it seems to have sorted itself out a but now as dd wasn't hungry after latest contact and was more enthusiastic about what she has to eat who h was a v innocuous normal meal so I thi k she has settled more into the contact routine
Thank you for all your replies they were v helpful