Facing ex in court after YEARS

[avenueone]

I have not seen the bio father of my DS for almost 7 years. It looks like I will have to attend a directions hearing to address his new found interest in my DS who he has never wanted to see and done everything to avoid supporting in any way.
Just a little background as he did contact me himself before I informed the police and as he doesn't work he gets legal aid - it will cost me a fortune to ensure any contact is indirect/supervised at first.
The last time I did see him he was threatening me with violence after an abusive relationship got worse so its absence has not been heartbreaking.
It is so long ago and we have such a nice and settled life now (me and Ds).
The thought of having to sit in the same room as him even with other people there fills me with more dread than I have ever felt. I know I have to for my DS.
Guess there is no real answer but if anyone else has had to go through this it would help to know as I don't know anyone who has been through this.

Hi, my ex took us yo court after six years of no contact, the judge actually laughed and asked him if he had been on the moon before sending us both to CAFCAS, it took nearly a year to go through, my dd didn't want to see him which was taken into consideration. He was going to be awarded written contact for six months and then to be re looked at with a view to some form of face to face contact.

The day before the hearing he called CAFCAS and told them he had changed his mind and he didn't want to see her. It was a horrible, stressful time but I have to say that CAFCAS were great and listened to me and dd and said after such a long period an absent parent would only get written contact to start.

That was 10 years ago. Hope it goes well for you x

I hope I get your judge !! thanks so much x

I think (in my limited experience and not as a professional) u less he changes his mind he will probably be offered indirect contact by letter for a few months, if he keeps it upbregularly he will be given supervised contact perhaps at a contact centre or supervised by someone you know maybe your parents etc, then if he proves to be reliable and regualrly attends he will be offered unsupervised contact.

Basically, if he really does want contact a. You don't have a good reason for him not to (ie he's not a risk to your DS) then he will get to see him. You might be surprised an find he has stepped up to his responsibilities and your son may well form a close and lasting relationship with his father- which can only ba a good thing.

Sadly slow from what I know that isn't the case. He had a job when I knew him he is on benefits now (almost two years now) and from initial enquiries looks up to no good should we say - his initial approaches have been agressive and frightening for my DS (police involved). having to see him after such abuse all those years ago will be horiffic and whilst I can stay safe and stay in my nice home and even have more time to myself - if my DS has to have major change to his life in any form for the sake of anicdotal evidence then it will be he not I that suffer. The idea of a close and lasting relationship is a nice one and one I long for my to DS to have.