Myself and partner have decided to split - practical advice needed please.

[springbelle]

Hi ladies,

Sad to be posting this...

My now ex partner and I are splitting after much soul searching and a long time treading water in a defunct relationship. We are still friends and our main aim is to make sure our lovely (nearly 3 year old) daughter is ok.

We live in a rented flat that we have decided for practical reasons he will remain in and I will move out. My question is I work only 2 days a week so will need to claim housing benefit to be able to do this. When can I apply for this? Before I move out or when I have a flat in place? I am just concerned about how I am going to be able to afford the initial move?? Silly question but how do I claim (never claimed anything before)?

Are there any other credits/ help I can claim? Ex partner will obviously be paying his share, there are no worries on that side of it as he is a wonderful Dad.

Also worrying lots about how our little DD is going to take all this as she is only just turning 3. Feeling terribly guilty but surely doing this years down the line would be worse on her?

Any advice gratefully received!

As far as I know you will need to be in possession of the flat/house before you can claim. If you're living with someone and you're both paying towards it you won't get help. Go to your local council offices, they will be able to point you in the right direction, and they are usually very helpful.

Maintenance does not affect benefits. You could get £1000 in maintenance and still get all benefits. Are you getting child tax credit (and working tax credit if you are working)? You also get council tax benefit, if you get these then you also get winter heating allowances (if the temp is below freezing for a week or more) , free dental care and so on. Check it out at the nearest Job Centre. Very, very good luck.

By the way, my DS was 2 when we split up. I think it's more important for my son to have two happy parents apart, than two unhappy, arguing parents together. Don't beat yourself up, she'll be fine.

Sorry, me again. If you go to the council and claim housing benefit on the day you move in, they will back-date any payments up till then. You probably won't see any money from them for 6 weeks or so, but they will pay you if you qualify.

Type "LHA direct" into google and it will take you to a website where you can enter your postcode or local authority and it will tell you how much housing benefit you can claim. You will be eligible for a 2 bedroom place for you and DD as long as she's living mainly with you (ie 50% or more).

If your 2 days a week counts as 16 hours, then you can claim tax credits - you will be substantially better off doing this so if your hours are just slightly under 16 it might be worth trying to increase them so that they are.

If it is under 16 hours then you can claim income support instead.

Either way, you can also get child maintenance from your ex - and this will not affect any other benefits you can get. You don't have to go via the CSA if he's willing to pay, but you might want to look at the CSA webpage to see what they think he should be paying, and if he's suggesting something lower than this, show it to him.

At 3, I wouldn't worry that you'll harm your DD at all - My DS was nearly 4 when we split and really didn't see the change as any more of a bad thing than moving house, starting a new nursary or anything else. I would just tell her the practicalities and don't do the "mummy and daddy don't love each other any more" stuff unless she seems to need it. Just tell her when and where she'll see each parent, and tell her she'll have two homes and toys in each of them. If you and your ex can remain amicable she'll probably take it all in her stide.

My dd was 3 when me & her dad split. Me & her also moved hundreds of miles away from her dad which was a double upheavel but she settled in quite quickly.

If u work under 16 hours u can claim invome support from the jobcentre, u get child tax credit, child benefit. U can only get housing & council tax benefits when u have somewhere to live. If u work 16 or more hours u can get working tax.

Google benefit calculator.

Thank you so much all of you for your guidance and words of support! Massive help x