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The worst day yet... feeling rubbish (sorry - v.long)

4 replies

Seapixie · 20/08/2012 21:12

Today has been a really horrible day and I feel really down and am so disappointed with myself.
My lovely Mum had a serious operation today. We had been told there was a significant risk she wouldn't survive it. After 6 hrs in surgery she is doing well - I am so proud of her fighting spirit and so very, very relieved. She still has months and months of hard times ahead of her and will be permanantly disabled despite of this, but I am trying to remain positive for as good an outcome as possible for her.
After wishing her well this morning I thought the best way to get through a long and worrying day was to take my lovely boys for a walk in the sunshine, an ice cream and to feed the ducks. It was stressful from the start. DS1 (4)had a bee in his bonnet from the get go and was niggling the whole time. Not sure why but maybe picking up on my worries. However, with the support of a dear friend who came with us, both boys managed to have a nice(ish) time.
On the walk home he started to get more difficult and I must admit my pateience was wearing thin. By the time we got home he was just angling for a reaction. Normally I would completely ignore this, tell him to play in another room or garden until he could behave nicely to everyone, and carry on. Today I completely lost my cool and shouted at him and then proceded to list all his 'wrong doings' of the day so far and tell him off for them.
I feel really ashamed of myself for doing this. I know he's just being a normal 4 yr old and goodness only knows he's got enough on his plate. Exp only left in May but doesn't see the boys and this must be incredibly hard for them both but especially for DS1 (DS2 is still a baby).
To top all this I was cold shouldered when out by some people I am normally very friendly with on meeting (it's a tiny, tiny community) as Exp is broadcasting that I am stopping him from seeing the boys. This could not be further from the case - I desperately want them to have a positive relationship with their Dad and don't know what else I can do to get him to see them.
It all just seem a bit much today. I feel like a failure as a Mum, I am desperately worried about my own darling Mum and am not sure how to pick myself up from here.
Am sure all will seem better in the morning but just wanted to off load.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Berris · 20/08/2012 21:45

Sounds like a proper stressy time - I'm sure pretty much all of us can relate and have had days like this.

Hopefully you'll have a good nights sleep and it'll all be better in the morning

Seapixie · 20/08/2012 22:28

Thank you Berris. Really good to have support. Am feeling prettly low and lonely :(

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MagicHouse · 24/08/2012 14:18

Ah don't beat yourself up about it. Sounds like you had a huge amount on your plate. If I feel I've been a bit unfair - I'd just say it - "sorry I shouted I'm a bit worried about Grandma really", my DD is fine if I talk to her like that.

As for the cold shouldering - that's really hard. Who's told you your ex is broadcasting that? Would it be possible to let people know that's not the case.

Hopefully you feel a bit better now, but we all lose patience now and again, without everything you're going through. Hope your mum is ok.

Seapixie · 24/08/2012 21:35

Thank you Magic - that was exactly what I did and DS1 seemed to understand. He said 'we've both been a bit naughty to each other but we're friends now!'. Sometimes I think he has more sense that me!

Friends have reported his broadcasting. He even had the cheek to tell it to my friends hubby who told him to try someone else! Am going to have to think about how to handle this. I know I shouldn't care what people think (especialy those I don't know well - my friends all know the truth) but it's a very small community and I hate the thought of anyone thinking I would do such a thing - especially as it couldn't be further from the truth.

Lovely Mum is doing as well as can be hoped for at this stage. However it's going to be a very long haul - months and months and no hope of a full recovery. All I can do is keep everything crossed and be there for her. I am calling her every day in hospital but am too far away to visit. Will look and taking boys to see her again when a plan of action is in place to see if I can be of any practical support for her.

Thank you for your consideration and support. It's so very much appreciated Smile

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