DS just wants Daddy

[acrunchieandacupoftea]

DS is 5 and I work FT but only term time.

So, we do loads together in the holidays in terms of park trips, zoo, swimming, city farm, sometimes he plays with kids his age, sometimes he meets my friends, sometimes my family come to visit, and I have my bf staying over more and more.

I let DS get on with his hobbies and am a really involved parent, be it collecting stones or snails or whatever he is into I always support it!

It seems every since we broke up when DS was 2, DS has always been asking for Daddy. And he gets to see him quite a lot! sometimes once a week and during holidays up to 50% of the time, I'm certainly not stopping DS from seeing his dad.

I am finally suceeding with getting him to sleep in his bed but still struggle to get him to try new foods, he eats a very limited diet. So there are areas where he may think I am quite a strict parent. Basically compared to his dad who lets him play computer games a lot, go to sleep late at night, doesn't have a bed for DS so they just share a bed and lets him eat crisps a lot... So I am the strict parent.

But I am sat here in tears because as usual he has asked for his dad repeatedly during the day.

It is usually when he gets tired, but he has stayed with his Dad for two weeks and apparently he barely mentioned me once! His Dad doesn't work so has plenty of energy for DS... On the other hand he can be unreliable and lets DS down and makes us wait around for him.

Is this normal to feel that I am so unloved, that my DS always asks for his Dad even after 24 hours of summer holiday chilling and fun with me. It is clearly party party party non-stop with Dad.

And I feel compelled to compete and get some computer games for him. (Although I have already let him play cbeebies games for basic ICT skills).

I suspect the hardest thing for DS is if I have my bf over and DS has to sleep in his room.

We are letting DS see each of us (mum and dad) for equal numbers of days and nights at the moment. Should I do anything? I am sure I am doing the right things for DS. But is it just normal that he will suddenly say he doesn't want to see me? He wants me to take him to his dads.

I think that you've nailed it pretty well.
It's hard bringing a kid up on your own. And ds only wants daddy as he lets him eat junk and stay up late but sometimes they just want a make figure in their life.
How is ds and your bf relationship?
My situation is different ds doesn't get to see dh (his dad) as he's in a different country and ds is always looking for male role models. I think he's just had enough of me and he wants his dad.

Sorry that was much help but didn't want to not answer
X

Thanks.

DS likes him, in terms of snuggling up to him on the sofa and showing off to him at the park. bf is great, not too full on with DS and often arriving from work after DS's bedtime.

DS did ask why we have to have ppl in our house though, my mum first, then some other friends with kids stayed a couple of nights and of course bf. He is mostly used to it being me and him. To the point that he hasn't really learnt to sit down and play with his toys, Will sit and draw quietly in the same room as me though. I suppose I have to make it clear that he is my number 1.

Firstly you sound like a lovely mother with your snail collecting and zoo trips. Your ds will be having a lovely childhood with you.

Second, it's probably not true that he doesn't ask for you at his dad's house. And if it is true, maybe it's because he is so secure with you and the life you have built for him that he doesn't need to ask about you. He knows you are there for him as he feels so loved.

Children work it out in the end who is putting the real work in. My dds know they are not eating a bag of donuts at school pick up, watching tv all weekend, or running across car parks because I love them and I am doing what's best for them.

They know if I shove a film on tv it's because I want to go on the phone to my sister or whatever and that it is an easy option for me compared to playing a game with them.

They know I don't go to basketball practice for my benefit and that I would rather be at home with a cup of tea, but I do it for them. And I bet your ds does too.

You do special things with your boy too. I bet really he would rather look for snails with you than do anything else in the world.