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ex and contact arrangements

4 replies

keepingupwiththejoneses · 18/08/2012 18:30

Ex is refusing to sick to, or should I say acknowledge the contact arrangements we agreed. Last week we agreed on tues, thurs and sun for a few hours each, time depending on his work. I agreed contact could take place at our jointly owned house, where I live for several reasons, and I would go out. This was to start on thurs. He called me to say he would not be able to get here until 6, I said fine. When he arrived, he said he couldn't stay, ended up leaving after 45 mins! Then yesterday he called at about 1pm to say he was coming to see the dc, I said no, we where out. Again this morning at 10am he called to say he was coming to say he was coming to see them, I told him it wasn't convenient as we had had a bad night and where only just up. He then called an hour later to say he would be here in 10 mins whether I liked it or not. I left the front door locked with my key on the inside, when he arrived. He was not happy, shouting at me for not allowing him free access to the house, reminding me for the millionth time that he was free to come and co as he pleased as he still own half!
He also sent my solicitor a letter this week, after her sending him one to say I was not happy about the arrangements, saying that I had been asking him to come more often, I was a liar and he would not be agreeing to any offers of contact, he would see the dc as a and when he wished!
I just don't know what to do any more. I really don't want to have him just waltzing in the house every day for half an hour as and when he pleases.

OP posts:
avenueone · 18/08/2012 21:04

Excellent - not your situation of course but if he has put that in writing surely your sol. is writing back that this is not a child centred approach to contact?

keepingupwiththejoneses · 18/08/2012 23:24

She has said she wants to get the financials out of the way before we work on contact arrangements. It is so frustrating he is being such a nob about everything. Funny thing is that although it is me filling for divorce, he was the one that left!

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STIDW · 18/08/2012 23:41

Were contact arrangements agreed in writing and how long has it been since your husband moved out? Although your husband has rights to occupy the former matrimonial property if he no longer lives there for a while it isn't his home any more. It is your home, and his rights need to be balanced against your rights under Article 8, Human Rights Act 1998 to privacy and a family life.

The shouting needs to stop. If the children witness outbursts of temper and shouting they may become resistant to contact so your ex effectively brings about his own alienation.

keepingupwiththejoneses · 19/08/2012 00:20

I know exactly what you are saying STIDW.
Contact arrangements where made verbally, unfortunately!
Ex moved out 11 june this year so not really that long.
I avoid any arguments, but ex seems to be totally ignorant to how he is coming across. DS3 has sever asd and sld and will get very upset at raised voices, ex will just shout at him to be quiet and say he is only talking so doesn't know what the problem is. Needless to say ds3 spends a lot of the time screaming when ex is talking to me Sad
The problem, I think is, that he is refusing to get his own solicitor and is using CAB as his legal advice.
DS1, 20 is not his son, live away from home anyway, but DS2, 13 is already becoming resistant to contact with his dad!

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