Applying for sole custody. Is it pointless?

[Challen]

Just wondering if it's worth it. Children's father rarely sees them, goes 5 or 6 months without a word, no phone call, birthday cards, texts, nothing. But if we do communicate, it degenerates within minutes, and the latest threats relate to him intending to pursue custody.

I left with my 3 year old and newborn due to DV issues and moved closer to extended family for practical support, but no charges were ever pressed against him, so there is no 'record' of those offences other than call-outs I suppose, although I did have a DV support worker telephone me out of the blue once I'd moved to my new address, not sure how that came about, but she seemed to know I had moved and why, so perhaps the police were involved more than I know.

Anyway, there are threats of kidnapping the eldest (she's 5) apparently he has a perfect legal right to take his child away from me :/ in this manner, and now he is threatening custody, I suppose I have to look into it myself.

Your advice and views on how to begin, costs, etc would be very warmly welcomed.

Thankyou

If he's on the birth certificates he automatically has rights, even if he's a drug abuser, alcohol abuser, total dickhead or totally unreliable!! Going through the same thing, however all my dd's father is going to get is one hour a week in a contact centre supervised :) ... hope this helps!!

Best way to start would be to get a solicitor... they make you do mediation (pointless) and then if .yu and your ex partner don't come to an agreement it will go to court. You can get a free 30min consultation at a solicitors :) if your on a low wage you may be entitled to legal aid to cover solicitor and court fees, if not be ready for hefty bills!!!

Yes, he's on both of their certificates. Not that it matters whether the mother includes the father at registration, because he can apply himself to be added anyway :/

Best way would be make sure you are not seen to be PAS and deliberatly withholding access so you state your are happy to use a centre that does supervised visits, he then has to arrange all this and I bet he wont and he will then piss off the courts

What does PAS mean?

I have encouraged contact vehemently over the past 3 years but he is unwilling to visit them or speak to them hardly at all lately. The custody threat has come about because I would not accommodate him this weekend whilst he visited a nearby event. The kidnap threat is always present.

I am not saying you have (i am on your side) I am mearly giving advice

I am saying if he is threatening you with custody he may try and say you are PAS him (parental alienation syndrome) if my ex was being a tool like him and threatening with kidnap to keep you in your place etc its what i would do and I would also record and note down everything hun

Is there a contact order in place? it doesn't sound like it but I am pretty new to all this as my ex has never wanted to bother one bit for almost 7 years and turns up wanting all sorts.
If not then the problem is as the resident parent you can't take a case to court for the non resident to have contact - they can come and go as they please (the none residents be they male or female) and take you .. but to get a court order they have to take you.
If you can manage a solicitors letter you could say that you are concerned the children are not having a regular patter of contact and it is not good for their emotional development and see if anything could be agreed? if he doesn't reply or refuses and you stop contact and then he takes you to court (so many if's) that initial letter would go in your favour - esp. as I agree with the contact centre suggestion too.
I truly feel terrible for those parents who love their children and want/can offer them a regular, stable life and the other parents stops it - but welfare reform has moved too far the other way IMO and is not sophisticated enough to address issues when this (the resident is great) is not the case (the none residents is not very nice ).

Abusive men often threaten to 'get custody' and it's all bullshit. No court will take children away from their mother out of the blue and hand them over to a father they have barely seen for years. Talk to Women's Aid/Rights of Women and get a solicitor of your own; start from the viewpoint that you are happy for the DC to have safe and regular contact with their father but that he has to be (for example) sober for contact to take place, that he can't come to your home, that it has to be supervised...