Will he change his mind?

[xmasevebundle]

Me and my ex broke up when i was 8w.

I ended it because this is was he said.. if you dont get rid of it we wont last, this will be my only child as id want that not this, told me to abort it.

After a few fags(ive gave up now) i thought fuck that so i kept the baby and i told him. It didnt go down to well.. we was breaking up anyway.

His mum threatend to stab the baby out my womb because i refused to abort the since then shes come up to me once and i dont go out.

We had many arguements.. He was coming to scan and birth, it all kicked off said he would take full custody keeping texts and recording phone calls.

Our last phone call a few months ago when he said to me ive told my friend (a new gf i think?) everything about our sex life the baby and she will pushing our baby and i got so angry i smashed my room up!!!

I left it for ages then i wrote to him saying you need to pay for the child, hes spent 130 on the baby. He kicked off saying its my fault for losing my temper. He dont want anything to do with the baby only the money side when its born therefore will go through CSA.

Hes blocked me on facebook?

He dont even no if hes having a son!

I will refuse contact when he asks because of the hell hes put me through.

Dont see this as im doing it to spite him its ME always trying. He lives around the corner from me.

I get so angry sometimes because he treats friends over flesh and blood.

He wants a DNA i said you waste 252 on it and when it comes back yours. If its not his its prince harrys!!

He pissed me off so i said ill be holding our baby on christmas eve he said its not even mine the babys a bastard.

I rubbed my belly and said daddys a prick.

I mean how cruel and wicked can a 25 year old man get? Hes got a car and works for vauxhall as a tech and earns 30k a year.

No its not about money never was but after he spend 130 on the baby thats a days work for him. Ive spend all my money, some things even second hand :(

Im 19 and so fed up of his shit.

I would suggest from your OP that you need to discuss your anger issues with your GP.

Ignore him, he made it very clear that he wanted nothing to do with his child and you aren't getting anywhere when trying to make him to apart from giving him evidence on how unstable and emotionally immature you are about the situation.

He does not care whether you will be holding his baby on Christmas Eve he has said he doesn't want it. He is with another woman. You have said he wants nothing to do with it apart from giving you money. As soon as your baby is born go to the CSA. TBH I don't blame him for blocking you on facebook as I suspect you were abusing him on it.

For now just ignore him, do not text him, stop getting so angry and quite frankly if you get so angry with him that you smash up your room what are you going to be like when you are sleep deprived with a screaming baby???

Of course he is going to treat his friends over your unborn baby as it is not family to him as he doesn't want it to. Sorry if this is harsh but from your OP you don't seem to get that he does not want anything to do with you or your child. Yes that is shit but that is how it is. Leave him alone and sort yourself out and make your life calmer for your baby's sake.

I wasnt abusing him as for asking to buy nappies for the baby?

He blocked me because he was fed up of me asking him to get the baby stuff, sometimes he must think i had sex with myself and got pregnant?

I only get angry because of what he said, i dont give a shit about him he could die for all i cared.

I dont need to see the GP ive had anger managment got ADHD and since ive stopped smoking i dont no how to release my anger but i only get angry when i speak to him!

Best advice I can give it be strong on your own, us women are strong enough to do it on our own. My ex has a very good job, but I don't want his money or him, I've got what I want with my DD, I'd rather struggle and do it myself than take anything from him. Forget about him and move on, don't let you being bitter ruin the rest of yours and your child's lives.

He didn't want the baby & tbh I'm surprised he's given you any money towards an unborn child. When it arrives the law says he has to give you 15% of his net wage. It also says he will have contact rights & that may well include having baby on alternate Christmas days & his new gf looking after it. It may not be what you want to hear but that's how things are. Concentrate on being a great mum, YOU made the decision to keep to baby so you make sure for your baby's sake that it was the best decision to be made.

I was 19 when I had my DD. I did it alone and I know how scared and frustrated you must feel right now.

But really, you can't force him to be involved.

Step back. Step away from Facebook and do not text him. He knows he has a child on the way. The next step has to be his.

Your only job now is to look after yourself and your growing baby. Get rid of the stress of him. Just focus on you two now.

I know that feels impossible but I promise you once you accept that you and the baby are alone in this then you can start to focus on the things that matter.

He's not obliged to pay for the baby until its born. After that, let the CSA deal with it. The will also arrange DNA if he requests it. That side of things should be left in their hands and completely seperate to you and your baby.

Honestly, just focus on what your baby will get from you alone. Don't end up bitter and resentful because of this guy. That will do no one any good.

You're having a baby. And your baby will have you as a mum. All you can ever do is make sure you're the best mum you can be and dealing with your ex and all this drama will get in the way of it all.

I wish I'd spent less time being pissed off and angry with DS's dad when I was pregnant. It took a whole year after the birth for him to stop being a cock, but by that time I wasn't bothered whether he saw his son or not. Only time will tell whether your ex will change his mind, in the mean time just look after yourself and your baby.

There are maternity grants from the government to pay for all the baby equipment if you have no money.

Btw it's probably not a good idea to be friends on Facebook with a recent ex in any circumstances so i'd see him blocking you as a GOOD thing!

I dont want him in either of our lifes. I want him to pay half his way.

Tbh i doubt his friend is a girlfriend he says things to get me angry.

Told me loads of lies like ive hurt my hand i cant work, he needed plates in his hand and next week i saw him driving it was his left hand.

So thats what i deal with.

I will get CSA after him but i wont allow him to see the child.

He will have to take me to court because hes not telling me what to do anymore and only doing stuff on his terms to suit him.

Thanks for all the adivce, its hard because i grew up with a dad and my son wont i find that hard to understand sometimes.

Your son will be fine.

Don't make rash decisions and statements to your ex whilst you're still hurting. Just tell him you are taking this time to continue with a stress free pregnancy and you're refraining from contact in the meantime.

I know you want to punish him for hurting you but once you've had some space and feel more settled you can think again about contact between them if that's what would be best for your son. I've been exactly where you are. I wanted to tell my ex to get lost but I didnt ever want my DD knowing it was my fault she didn't have a father in her life. I let him make that choice. I backed off, focused on my pregnancy and making a home for her. When she was born I offered contact. He chose not to bother. He knows where we are but 11 years on has no desire to get to know her.

She's asked questions. I can honestly look her in the eyes and tell her I tried to get him involved. If he turns up or she tracks him down he can never say I stopped him seeing her and that was very very important to me. I know she won't resent me for it.

It gets easier and the anger subsides but in the meantime don't give him reason to play the victim. An ugly court battle won't help you or your son. Just stay no contact for the rest of your pregnancy and focus on yourself and your beautiful baby boy. That's all you can control at this point!

I was also 19 when I had my DD . I was in a relationship that was not healthy put it that way . As soon as I realised I was pregnant the father said from the get go he did not want it . I broke up with him and never spoke to him again .

That was 7 years ago and he hasn't changed his mind . I've never asked him for a penny therefore never received one .

Tbh I really don't understand why you would want someone in your sons life that didn't want to be in it . Someone who has to be coaxed to be a father isn't a father worth having IMO .

My advice to you is to just forget about him . Don't contact him . Or his family . If they want to be in your sons life they can come to you , it's nor your job to chase them .

And I would speak to someone about how you are feeling it sounds like you feel very angry about the situation which isn't great for you and baby .

Good luck .

I dont want him in his life because hes a bastard towards me pregnant and hasnt helped and made me struggle.

I will stand by what i said and he will have to take me to court because if i passed my son around it would be in danger MIL is a nutter.

I havent spoke to him since hes blocked me, hes not bothered but i will ask him for money because it will be for his child not me.

I am focused on my little man and i cant wait until i meet him be the happiest moment of my life!