I'm more of a lurker than a poster but I'm sitting here feeling like such a tit, I need to get this out there somewhere.
Its 6 years since I split with DDs Dad. It was when I was pregnant. He didn't want a baby and didn't want to try. By the time DD was born he had a new partner and was with her for 3 years. We were always very amicable, but I was distant. It was really hard for me, specially the pregnancy.
I suppose was so hurt and angry for about the first 4 years that I just blocked out all of my feelings. In the past 2 years things have improved a lot and he has become a lot more understanding (stopped smoking weed and that made a huge difference)
The problem is that I still can't get over him. He is great with DD (has been since she was born really) and all she wants in the world is for us to be a family. It breaks my heart and now I'm pining after the same stuff.
I suppose its because he we never tried. He has no idea how I feel. I can only assume he hasn't changed his feelings. We have never spoken about it.
Its never gonna happen. I need a kick up the bum. BADLY. I want to move on but today I ended up at his house for the first time and DD insisted on showing me around. It was lovely. It didn't help.
I think I might need help.