I have posted this on AIBU, but just wanted to re-post here to see if lone parents may have a different view.
My dd is five, since she was born exp and I had been breaking up and getting back together. Often contact broke down for various reasons.
Once he broke my frount door down in anger and I stopped contact. He has also been violent towards me but not dd.
The last time time contact broke down, he had been letting her down most of the time when they were due to see each other, often on the day and dd was left crying. He blamed it on me most of the time even though we had agreed dates in advance . This had been going on for 6months. The reason was because dd had started reception and was very tired after school, and he wanted her after school days and I said no, he must stick to weekends as agreed on our contact order. And it seemed to me he didnt want to make time for her on the weekend.
Anyway on two seperate occasions he text me to say maybe it was for the best if he didnt see dd anymore. First time I talked him round and said come to take dd for dinner even though her was about 5 hours late. The second time he text that, I said fine, I think your right it is for the best and he didnt see dd for 6months.
Now he has started seeing her again and only seen her 3 times and thinks I am completley out of order for wanting to go along with them.
Also he is annoyed that I will not give him my current mobile number. (he has my old number which he can call me on and my email address which come straight through to my phone).
The reasons for my concerns of leaving him alone with him are:
There have been a few incidents in the past that make me wonder if I should let him have her alone. Once when she was about 1, he was in my house looking after dd as I was out for the night, he got annoyed with me because I was out and thought I might be upto something. So he took her to his home at 1am. I felt it was unreasonable for him to do that and feel that sometimes he can get annoyed with me and do things that are not the best for dd just to get at me.
Also kicking in my door in the middle of the night because he was angry with me is also not good for dd.
also he had been messaging one of my friends to ask about giving dd a birthday present, she had replied and he then proceeded to send her 8 messages in the time that she had only sent one.
And it just makes me feel like he acts crazy sometimes. Also he often has to take steriods for a medical condition he has, and lots of times lost his temper completely with me and was violent and blames it on the medication.
So AIBU to want to accompany them? Considering that he can be unstable at times?