relationship breakdown... bad effect on 2yr old son...advice needed..

[bagpuss2210]

Hi All, Im new to mumsnet, but didnt know where else to go... my relationship recently broke down, I have moved into a new house with my 2yr old son. He was fine for the first 5 weeks, but the past 3 have been a nightmare. When I put him to be he now screams 'daddy gone daddy gone... mummy mummy mummy dont go mummy' It ends up with me having to get him up and put him in my bed, but he wont go to sleep unless I am lying with him.

Any advice on how to explain to a 2 year old that Im not about to leave him?

Does he see his dad at all ?

This isn't that uncommon. When one parent leaves the child feels insecure and tends to cling to the other parent because they fear abandonment and there would be no one to care for them. It's survival instinct. All you can do is reassure your son you love him and aren't go to leave him and give him plenty of hugs. If he can see his Dad regularly it will help, although he may not cope well with being away from you for long periods or overnight if you are his main carer.

he see's his dad 3 days a week... he gets upset when he knows he is going there, although he is fine once there. its just heartbreaking to see him so upset. :-(

Poor little fella. I agree with STIDW all you can do is give him lots of re-assurance. My dd coped fairly well with her mum and I splitting up, but both of us ( in our respective homes ) were staying with her at bed time till she dropped off, I think there was a fair bit of co-sleeping with her mum.

Even now with dd being nearly 4 I always sit reading with her till she's asleep. If she wakes in the night and asks me to stay with her I'll grab my duvet and sleep on her bedroom floor or take her to my bed.

She will at times use the 'I want / miss mummy' line, but almost always when she's not getting her own way. And getting upset at hand-over is par for the course I'm afraid.

Carry on giving re-assurance, and if possible show a united front with your XP in front of ds.