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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

csa and incomes support, help please

48 replies

shelley85 · 08/03/2006 23:57

hiya wondering if anyone could help, me and my ex split up a few months ago but we're still on really good terms. to cut a long story short when i found out i was pregnant he wasnt working, had a job on and off for a while then found one had to go on sick leave and got sacked. everything that needed paying for when he wasn't working got put on his credit cards (rent, baby stuff, food) at the minute he is £8,000 in debt and the csa keep writing and phoning to see when hes going to start payments again now that hes got another job. i know that dd is his responsibility too but hes really good with her and always brings nappies and stuff when he can all his wages are going on paying back the debt at the minute and i just wanted to know if they could give him a break before he starts payments again, feel really sorry for him and i don't want to cause bad blood

OP posts:

sladean · 16/03/2006 09:47

its not just the csa I lost everything, house, car furnishings. I had to start over again. As for being money grabbers having had dealings with more than one family of phillippinos I think I can comment. If you take offence ignore it. As for Shelley85 all she has to do is ask the CSA to cancel the case what could be easier?

Original poster

shelley85 · 16/03/2006 17:26

i have been trying to get tjhrough to them for two weeks and the phone is constantly engaged, when i first claimed income support they said i had to receive cs or the would cancel my benefits

OP posts:

7up · 16/03/2006 18:36

7up · 16/03/2006 18:58

sorry bout the 'hi' message, i was about to post a message and my ds decided to do one for me.

was gona congratulate you on having a good relationship with your ex and hope it stays that way, hope you get the money thing sorted out

jinglybits · 16/03/2006 19:04

you can't ask the csa to cancel the case if you are claiming income support as a single parent. It is not that simple sladean. If you cut ties with the csa then you will get no or a reduced rate income support which will leave you with not enough money to live on. hands are tied and you are forced to let the csa do as they wish! which means they take random varying amounts from my ex but which i'm not given even half of!? currently they are taking over 100pounds from him and i am getting between 20-40 a month. It is non-sensical and as they ignore correspondance and noone ever answers the phone there seems to be nothing that can be done!

jinglybits · 16/03/2006 19:05

my ex tells me he is contributing to our ds but the moneys not getting through to me

HappyMumof2 · 16/03/2006 19:06

this is true sladean. You have to comply with the csa if you are on is or they cut or completely stop your benefit, and they do do this - they did it to me - I had NO benefits for 6 weeks and they have done it to someone else I know

Original poster

shelley85 · 16/03/2006 21:21

think wot i might do is just send them a letter and judging from wht i've heard about the csa they will take that long to sort anything out my ex will have been able to pay some of the debt off before they start taking money off him.

OP posts:

sladean · 17/03/2006 08:38

Well they must have ESP then, coz whenever I ring I get thru and they end up winding me up so much I have to put the phone down. Ive never had a problem getting thru and thats all times of day. 08457 133 133 is the helpline number.
I admit they employ monkeys but you should be able to get thru. I always insist they call me back on my mobile as it costs them more money. Its my way of fighting back. Oh went to CAB yesterday and they told me the CSA was being replaced but they dont know when or by what. Also suggested I either go long term sick and do cash in hand work or just jack my job in!!! Good advice, but its not a solution, Im one of the few who wants to pay for his children, I just cant pay what I'm expected to and there is no one who can help. I cant wait to see my MP. Good luck with the telephone number. I also heard you can ask for a CRO who is like an Area Manager, they may help

Original poster

shelley85 · 17/03/2006 09:03

if you quit your job you won't get any benefits as you made yourself intentionally unemployed. benefits really aren't worth it imo plus why are you going on them just to avoid csa payments? you realise that its not just gonna affect your ex its gonna affect your kids too!

OP posts:

Original poster

shelley85 · 17/03/2006 10:23

sorry didn't read your last message properly, have you sat down with your ex and explained yto her that you can only afford to pay her so much, if you work it out first and write down what you earn then all your outgoings adn what you can afford to give her. or maybe if she says that she still wont be able to live on that much maybe suggest that you buy your children things like clothes, food or shoes, that way your ex will have a bit more money for herself

OP posts:

sladean · 17/03/2006 11:10

its not a case of not paying for them its fighting an unjust system. If I gave up work Id find cash in hand work and i'd pay what ive been paying. I would never begrudge my children anything but when she uses the money I give to buy a dog no a Huskey no less which cost about £1500. and will cost god knows how much to feed a week that is what I begrudge. Also the fact that the boys have holed clothes and she buys a new coat or outfit. She went to Bali twice last year and left the boys with me the first time. The second time was short notice and I had plans so she gets abusive and goes on about the csa getting me then she drops a note at a friend of hers and goes away. The friend opened the message and it said can you get the boys from school I wont do it!!!!

Original poster

shelley85 · 17/03/2006 14:07

yeah so if you bought them clothes and things then at least you know they are getting the benefit of your money rather than your ex spending it on things for herself

OP posts:

samsmum27 · 17/03/2006 17:04

is this working

samsmum27 · 17/03/2006 17:12

Hi, Im new to mumsnet..

wanted to add my story...exp is a tw*t.
DS1 is 9 - we split when he was 18 months...I now have DH and DS2, who is 1.

He makes payment directly to me , agreed figure of £250 (decided this coz £150 maintenance and £100 arrears) ...anyway all payments are late, short or not at all...it taes me the best part of 3 weeks of continiuous phone calls chasing him up. I have kept a record of how and when he does pay me.
Have tried the csa a couple of times in the past. USELESS!
xP gets emotionally and verbally abusive o me when csa involved. At mo, got fed up again of 8 months of irregular payments, so called csa again...however xp has now set up own company and is director, therefore csa cannot do a deductions of earnings order, so can only get payments if go to court, can only go to court if i stop taking any money directly from him...how am i supposed to pay tuition, school stuff, ie swimming lessons, mortgage etc if i dont have the money...is it worth a year of no money then goiing to court if he is abusive??

I think if csa assess him, he will have to pay more than 250, i think thata why he is abusive, ..but I am not after more ££ just regular ££.

Advice / views welcome.
thanx :(

7up · 17/03/2006 19:48

sorry cant advise here samsmum, im waiting to hear off csa, its been 3months now and not heard a thing. hope someone else can help you.

FioFio · 17/03/2006 19:51

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FioFio · 17/03/2006 19:52

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jinglybits · 17/03/2006 23:46

sladean if you can get your ex to come to an agreement with you, you can pay the amount of money that you agree on directly into her bank account without going through the csa. she then declares this as an income and her income support is reassessed, this is what my neighbour tells me.

nightowl · 18/03/2006 01:07

you can do this but i think it still has to be the amount the csa have set out, so they told me anyway.

Original poster

shelley85 · 24/03/2006 18:19

yeah they take into account how much you earn after tax and pention payments and then take 15% for the first child and a percentage for children after that

OP posts:

portencia · 25/03/2006 01:06

SLADEAN dont' know how it works elsewhere (i'm from Scotland) but here you can have your mortgage paid for up to a year as far as I know, and there's always volunteer work if you just feel you need to keep your hand in. I did volunteer work for the NHS in my local doctors surgery and it paid of after a year the Partners offered me a position. Don't know exact amounts you'd be entitled to, but if you have anywhere like the Citizens Advice Bureau they have all the figures and information you'll need even about your mortgage payments and its totally confidental. Hope this helps haven't read all the posts, so don't know if you've already had this info, good luck anyway.

portencia · 25/03/2006 01:32

SHELLEY85 Its depends on how much the CSA have decided your ex shuold be paying you. Don't know how they work things out by the sounds of some of the cases I think they just pick random figures(lol), joking aside my xp is supposed to pay the CSA £20 a week (incredible as he works full time, but what do I know). He refused to pay with the dockets that they sent him and told the CSA that he contributes to DS's upbringing in a hands on manner e.g buying things for them if and when they need them taking them on trips/holidays etc(not strictly the truth).
When I got a phone call from CSA asking me if this was the case (mainly because I don't agree with there system) I said yes. Income support take this £20 off my benefit. Alas xp hasn't had the courtesy to give me any payments as yet. Maybe one day, or maybe i'm just to soft.lol

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