Why cant he just be proper dad!!!!

[Sam1973]

Im getting so frustrated with my ex husband. He hardly ever gives me any maintenance for the kids. He does have them once or twice a week, but he makes out like he is doing me a favour.

DS & DD stayed with him last night, when they have come home DS ( aged 9) has been very clingy and cuddly which isnt like him. When i have asked him whats wrong he wouldnt tell me at first and then he said " Dad says every time we leave him its like he is being stabbed in the heart"

I finished the relationship, and i understand he is upset. ( we have been split up 8 months, he moved out 4 months ago) but surely he should be hiding this from the kids??

I know he is not happy that I am happy. I now have a social life and a "friend" but he doesnt know about the "friend"

I dont want to stop him from seeing the kids, but if he is going to keep using them as counsellors then maybe i should?? Just until he sorts himself out?? Any advice anyone?

Perhaps write him a letter (a short, non confrontational letter) just describing how the kids were after their visit and asking him whether you can work on this together? He might be surprised and shocked.

If you were to ask me (which you're not but nonetheless) I think being a bit tougher with him on maintenance and regular access might do him good-do you go easy on him because you left the marriage?

It's early days, it will get better.

I do feel guilty queenofthe pirates, but i have got tougher recently. One of the reasons i ended the marriage is he always has a pathetic excuse for everything, and never just faces up to things. I know that sounds harsh, but i always felt that i had 3 children....

Wish I could help you with that one as I sit here waiting to hear if exH is or isn't coming to take the children out this pm. He said on Wednesday that he wanted to and it would be this pm. Hasn't answered my txts asking what time, so here we are. Hasn't seen them since early June (for about an hour).
BTW he has been xH for 4 years now.
Sorry not to be able to be more helpful. Have a , I'm having one.