I'm scare and no-one is listening

[Betyboop9]

My lb has eczema, he always had and I knew when I was pregnant he was going to have it. I have it and and so does my little brother (4). This is something I have dealt with all my life and I know how to manage it.

For nearly two years I have fought tooth and nail to get a referral to a dermatologist, and over these two years various referrals have been 'made'. No health professional is listening to me and they keep accusing me of not putting creams on him. My old HV used to ring the docs to make sure I had made appointments and threatened me with social services if his skin didn't clear up. How is that fair when it's something I have no control over.

My new HV is lovely and has experience with skin conditions, however two weeks ago she taught me a new bath time routine which has worked very well up until a few days ago when unfortunately he took an allergic reaction to something. Because of this my HV feels like she has no choice but to get in touch with SS.
Of course my first reaction was to cry and clutch my son for dear life. She tried to calm me down and say she is only doing it for a bit of extra support for me. I just need people to listen! I had my son when I was 19 and health professionals think I am stupid and don't know what I'm doing. I have more experience with this than many of them.
I'm scared my son will be taken off me because they won't listen and they don't believe I'm trying my hardest with him. I feel like I've failed as a mother and I'm afraid now to go to his appointments incase I leave without him. This whole thing is driving me crazy and I cry a lot because of it. Also apparently I didn't pick up a script for my child for three months! I know that is not possible, I may be forgetful but I am not neglectful, there has clearly been a mistake somewhere down the line but of course noone believes me. I'm really starting to feel paranoid and I don't know what rights I have. Can anyone help me please!

First things first. Social services are not child snatchers. If a referral has been made then I really would trust your health visitor when she says that it's been made so you can access support. Your hv's words that she has 'no choice' are a bit odd though. How are you coping with things apart from ds's skin? Are you keeping the house in an ok state, and yourself?
How did you know when you were pregnant that he would have it? That kind of thing just can't be predicted can it? You sound very worried and also quite pessimistic, perhaps understandably, I don't understand why you put appointments have been 'made' in inverted commas, have the appointments been made or not?
Fwiw, my ds has eczema too and I would be horrified if anyone, let alone a health professional, suggested it was my fault. I took him to the doctors just last week with skin that felt like a reptile, it was awful, and he's barely stopped scratching since. But a new cream has given a big improvement. Lots is trial and error. I've not thoguht to ask for a referral as I know it's not a one size fits all thing, some creams work and some don't. Does his diet affect it? I've had it casually recommended to me to cut out dairy from his diet. What has he had a reaction to? My ds I think reacted badly to some cheap washing liquid, I certainly won't be using that again.
It's tedious and ds hates it, but cream really has to be done every day, sometimes 2 or 3 times. Are you putting anything in the bath? How about suncream? Piz Buin Allergy seems to be working here, it's half price in Sainsburys atm.
Do you have any support? Any family or friends?

My house is in good order, it has to be because a lot of his reactions seem to be allergy based. The appointments I was referring to was the doctors referral to the dermatologist and that is more to do a wee allergy test. I kind of knew he would have bad skin because it runs in my family. He gets creamed every nappy change and I've found creams that work providing he hasn't taken an allergic reaction. I understand that this HV is just doing her job and she is lovely and supportive. I understand the last thing she wants is my boy separated from me, I'm just terrified because my old HV put the fear of god in me. I must admit I am very down because I feel like I'm not getting through to anyone, like I'm just being pushed to the side. I'm not sure what he has had a reaction to but this one was bad so in having to keep a diary now. I'm afraid to say im down incase they think I can't cope. It took one bad experience and now I'm all over the place. I try so hard to look after his skin but they just don't see it.

Please save your energy fighting, so to speak. You sound very tired and trust me that more often than not dermatologist will disappoint you.
It is truly all down to diet and a less stresful envirounment
I have seen children in very bad condition coming out of it. You must be consistent with No sugar No dairy for quite some time before you see any improvement. Wrong cream can make it worst. Have you tried Aveno purple band, with oat. It is a very pleasant and supple cream easy to use all over.
For the very sore spots try LOCOBASE cream. It is a long long process, so please get rid of your guilt feelings, pick your battles and be constant.