Any single mums managed to get a succesful career going /maintained after having children?

[toptramp]

My career seriously panned since having dd and I am slowly rebuilding it. I am a trained teacher. Can anyone inspire me with their succesful career/work stories? How do you do it?

A quick potted "how I did it" for you - it's doable through being very organised, planning ahead (like 3-6 months for childcare) and an emergency back-up of a family member.

Young child at nursery was quite easy - work hours fitted that. Finding a full-time pre-school was key (so no half days at different sites). School had breakfast and after school clubs, so that worked whilst I was local to that site.

As I went up career ladder (to snr mgmt), I had to be at another site about an hour travel away - cue employing someone to collect DS from after school club, bring home, do his dinner, etc, until I got in. This was a business that was open 6 days a week, 12 hrs a day, so there were occasions when I took DS in. Being upfront with boss/having good relationship definitely key and offering solutions/making up time where needed.

Left the business for lots of reasons, but after realising there's few senior roles that will accommodate those short-notice needs of your child, I went self employed and now work within school hours from home and have to use some eves to do work whilst DS is occupied.

I don't regret having a good career and I can always go back to it as an employee (DS is nearly 12 so not too many years until he's independent), but the experience and hard work has underpinned going self-employed. Risks and rewards both ways. They say you can't have it all - well you can, if you work your way through catering for all the childcare areas.

Good luck!

Good question. I'm in a similar situation, so I'll watch with interest.

Having my own business means I can be flaxible to a point but if something goes wrong I sometimes have to jump in.
I have adapted my role and made it work for me taking a short term financial hit to invest in our future - it continues to change as DS get older (coming up to 7 now)
I understood when my DS was tiny that work would have to take a back seat and we managed, spent savings and cut back.
As Bluepenny said when they are younger it is easier in terms of nursery hours being longer and no long school breaks but if you teach that will be a big help.
Planning is key but then I leanered there are some things you can't plan for and you have to trust you will just handle the situation as it arises and don't worry about the what if's or it may put you off things.
Some times you do drop all the plates, hey ho you can just brush them up.
You learn from things as you go and as every situation is different I felt it was only relevant to give broad advice. Keep positive but remember you can only do so much. Praise what you do and don't focus on what you havn't managed.
Some days you may think you can't do it but then I think all parents feel like that regardless of being a lone parent. Good luck - you can do it if that is what you really want to do.

I thought I had a nice job to keep me when I became a single parent, but got made redundant a few weeks later.

But since then I have managed to build up a career with a new employer. I looked at lots of job possibilities but in the end applied only for things close to home, to keep the travel times down. Started off with 3 days a week, and DCs both at nursary. Over time if your employer likes you and wants to keep you you can start to ask for a lot more flexibility - though I think this is probably easier for me than it might be for you in teaching. I now do 4 days, split over 5 so that I can pick up from school 3 days a week. DC2 does one day a week at after school club and one day her dad has her. (DC1 is now at secondary and can let himself in at home). Well worth keeping up a decent relationship with their dad if that's a possibility, or any other family. I've been able to work from home when either DC was ill - again not somethhing I'd have felt confident asking about up front, but once I was settled in it seemed fine to ask. Making up a bit of work in the evenings, or at weekends also compensates for any short days or perceived lack of comittment in the normal hours.

For holidays have done a right mix of things - holiday clubs, working extra days in term time to extend leave in the holidays, begging parents to come and stay for a few days, and quite a few swaps and favours with friends - always good to be quick to offer to have friends' DCs whenever possible, so that you have some favours to call in.

I've now been at the same employer 8 years and have managed a bit of internal promotion. Not as much as if I'd been free to travel around the country with no childcare commitments, but overall it feels like a reasonable balance of being a mum and having a career.

I am also a teacher. After I had dd, i went back when she was 11 months and only did 3 days a week. As soon as she got to about 2, 2 1/2, and life was a bit more manageable, I started getting my act together work wise. Eg took on another TLR, brought a bit more work home of an evening (which had not really been able to with a baby). I just really worked at being a great 3 day-a-weeker, which is hard, as you aren;t in the loop as much.

When she started Reception, I went back up to full-time. I am now top of scale, post threshold, TLR 1. It was hard, but am now not class based anymore, so that frees up my evenings and weekends as I don;t have extra work to do as often.

I quite regularly used to take dd in during the holiday and make her watch DVDs and eat a packed lunch, so I could do extra planning/paperwork/sorting etc. Bit rubbish for her, but it meant SMT took me more seriously that I was not planning to try for promotions and then not commit. Now she has just finished Y1 and it has got a lot easier all round.

Apologies for the essay! But, it is doable, it is just hard work while you are doing it. Plus, I am not only mum, I am the emergency contact - I have no one for childcare at all, so had to do all of it.

I have to say the main thing that allows me to maintain my career is having amazing childcare. I had to rtn full time fairly quickly after having my son and this is the only reason I was able to do so . I have noone else to fall back on for childcare so yes it does get a bit tough at times and Im falling into bed at 10 each night but it can be done

I've got to say I didn't find it much harder as a single parent as when I was a married parent (due to an ex who did little except act like a spoiled child).

An excellent nursery then followed by school and a childminder -which evolved to breakfast and after school clubs. Or occasionally we'll swap with other parents (with me making up my time usually on a weekend when I have a gaggle of their friends over).

No relatives nearby so I've just had to get on with it and it's second nature for us all now.

Find good childcare and the rest slots into place.