single, lonely and stressed parent

[Sharzi]

December just gone I become a mother to a baby boy. It was the perfect christmas present and I had my new little family. First few months struggled and had post-natal depression was very angry at times which isn't like me. Starting becoming distant with my partner and found out just a month ago he was having an affair.

Really feel low and just shocked and confused. Its hard because all my friends have become distant to. I am 24 years and i find it so saddening that my son, his father will not be a family. I cant think of how to make it as a single parent. Being the only one his dependant on. He sees his dad every week. Which makes it hard for me to cope. I'd rather he cheated on me without us creating a baby that way I wouldn't have to still see him.but I guess there's no point thinking that cos its happened now.

I just wondered if anyone had tips/advice to help me move on. Its frustrating to see others I know still with the father of their child and it puts me down I feel like I'm not worth it.

I went through something quite similar. Got PND and ex left me and DS when DS was only 6 months old.

One of the things I struggled with was a sense of guilt that DS wasn't going to grow up with 2 parents that lived together and loved each other like I did!

Happy to talk with you whenever you like. It does get better, this I can promise you.

So sorry you're going through this, it WILL get better.

Are you getting any support for the pnd?

It's ok to feel sad, angry etc it's normal/healthy. Can you ask your family/friends to rally round and help out with stuff you need, a night out, hair cut, swimming etc

Getting him out of your system helps.

Go to playgroups, ask gingerbread for advice/local groups. Can you think what you'd like to do like work, college so you've something to aim for?

I'll be the first to call him a twunt

, I had my dd when I was 23, I became a LP when dd was 16 weeks old. Ex did a runner! dd is now 3, light of my life and yeah it is hardwork but believe me there is light at the end of the tunnel. It gets better as you get used to it. Yeah it can be lonely and its damn hard work but the good bits weigh out the bad bits!

What a total dick!!!
The ex not the op
What's your housing/money situation like?
What's your biggest challenge just now? Maybe we can help x

Thanks Naturalnature. I do ask for more help. And my family has been great. I still feel pressure at times though as I've started work and it feels like I'm neglecting my son. I have been searching for properties and its really disheartining as they won't take me serious being a single parent moving out. Its so stressful

Thanks Scarredbutnotbroken. My biggest challenge is finding a property. It seems to be no luck. Also I just have no clue where I'm heading now and it scares me I don't wanna let my son down.

hiya, im 25 dd is 13mo and I kicked her dad out when she wa 13ws cos he was a twat then he went to jail a month later can out after a few weeks and the day after her 1st bday he got locked up again!

I really feel what u are going through. the best piece of advice i was given was to just start movig on and accept that this is now tour life and how it will be for a while. You will not let your son down. it is scary wonder and thinking how your going to get through it all but u really do just have to take it day by dy week by week. Local playground are fab for getting you both out of the house an if a family member can take him off your hands for an hour a week, do it! it will save your sanity! I think it's great your working! your setting up the best possible future for your son by doing so!

I think as a single mum it's really easy to beat yourself up and sell yourself short but ur prob doing a better job than some mums out there do go easy on yourself.

yep I had PTSD and PND and the ex had an affair and left and it was all my fault. I can tell you this I am much happier now, I have bonded with my DS far more than if he was still around. Life is much better although harder at times.

You will be fine. I am 40 this year with a 2 year old. You are young with your life ahead of you. Forget him he is clearly a prick.