Toddler wants her Dad, what to do?

[SparkleMom]

Hey everyone, I'm new here and looking for some advice.
My dd is nearly three and hasn't seen her dad in nearly two years. Contact before then was never regular as he could never commit to a day, wouldn't show up when supposed to etc. she also has a half brother who lives with her dad, who she had some contact with and was building a relationship with until his mother stopped this.

Recently my daughter has started asking about her dad, why other people have a dad and she doesn't, when he is coming to see her etc. she even asked if her daddy would come back if she told him sorry. I don't know how to reassure her, or if to attempt to make her dad see her again. But then will it affect her more if he stops again?

I also didn't have a dad growing up and don't want my own experience to cloud my judgement as it was a very different situation.

Any advice would be appreciated, I feel a bit lost at the moment.

Oh poor thing. Can she write him a letter or send him a picture or something like that to try and engage him? Whatever you must try and reassure her that she is a good girl and that you love her loads etc... How sad for you both, he sounds quite selfish........?

Tellin her I love her and that I'll always be here is what I've been doing so far. But sending him one of her pictures could work. Don't know where he lives but have mutual friends who may help.

He is quite selfish, last time I spoke to him (saw him while out and about) he said he couldn't see her because i annoy him. Problem is I want them to have contact but it can't be unsupervised as I don't think he is capable of looking after my daughter alone, there have been drug and anger problems in the past.

Ask her why she wants to. Remember, she doesn't remember him ever living with her - so it may be more in your head that she misses him, rather than hers. If you ask her why, she may just say ' I want to be like other children' or something similar at which point you can stress how many children only have a mummy and that she is normal etc. Remind her how happy your little life is together.

Ok, you don't trust your ex to have unsupervised contact because of anger and drug problems. He has not been interested for years, your DD is missing a dad who simply does not exist. Why to bring someone back into her life who has the potential to cause big damage? It is not going to be the dad she may expect anyway.

I would be more of the idea of explain things to her very simply and with words she can understand. No lies or making up a nice daddy for her, just something simple and age appropriate on which you can build up as she gets older.