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What age did your child start mentioning dad (no contact with bio father)

2 replies

perceptionreality · 17/07/2012 16:46

I have three children and the older two see a lot of their father and he has an active role in their life. The youngest has never met her dad, and is unlikely to. To put it bluntly, I couldn't have 'chosen' a worse man to be with and the relationship was a big mistake - he is violent, abusive and threatening plus he doesn't even live in the same country as us (a relief as far as I'm concerned)

The other day dd3 (who is 3) started wailing 'Where's MY daddy?' I wasn't really expecting this yet - she seeemed upset about it. I wonder if it's because she sees the older girls going off to their dad's? I have a dp who has a lovely relationship with dd3 and sometimes she'll say 'dad?' to him as if to try to figure out if he is her dad. He said that he's happy for her to think he's her dad.

What I want to know is, do I ever need to tell her the whole truth and if so how do I make it non-upsetting for her? I am guessing I will need to be honest with her at some point.

If anyone else has had this situation what was your experience? TIA...

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cuteboots · 18/07/2012 13:44

I thonk my little boy was about 5 when he started asking if he had a dad and why didnt he come and see him. Its never an easy subject to discuss but Ive always been honest and just told him thats sometimes mums and dads dont live together but that I will always be there for him . Hes now 8 and doesnt really mention his dad anymore. He also other people he can talk to about this if he doenst want to talk to me . If he wants to meet him again in years to come then Id never stop that but thats his choice. Good luck

perceptionreality · 18/07/2012 16:36

Thanks cuteboots. I am praying my dd never looks for her dad. I fear she will be very disappointed with what she finds.

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