What do you do with your dc when it's your weekend with them?

[DifferentFutureAhead]

Not used to spending weekend with just the dc yet. Have limited options as dd2 is only 1, so rules out cinema etc.

Saturday we are seeing friends and uniform shopping but I have a whole Sunday to fill and everyone else seems to be busy.

Soft play, a nice walk and the park seem to be my options.

What do you do?

Depends really?

I don't feel like I have to 'do' stuff every weekend.

Sometimes its just staying at home and just 'being'.

We do go for walks though even if the weather is pants.

I had thought about having a day in, but then thought we might all end up going nuts if we did that!

For days like that I have joined a local garden (a bit like the national trust), it's an excuse to go out for a bit of a walk, have a drink in the cafe and possibly choose a book or something from the gift shop. It runs some energy out of them and saves us going nuts.

I was thinking of joining the national trust, stbxh never wanted to, maybe I should do it now.

I don't do any "stuff" although DD is shortly starting drama club, which means it will be Mum-taxi.

But, for me, every weekend is spent with DD. It's the same as the rest of the week/month/year.

Sorry, I wasn't clear from your OP whether you just had them at the weekend or were wondering what to do at the weekend, after a "normal" week

I nearly got sucked into planning elaborate entertainment stuff to do on my weekends, as STBXH started making his weekends ever more extravagant and I felt I had to keep up.

Then I realised it was a mugs game... I now let him run around like a mad thing 'entertaining" them and spending a fortune, and when they are with me I tend to keep it simple and low key. I have discovered that in reality, the DC (5 and 2.5) just want to chill out and spend time together without being hassled

Same here, ex-p didn't want to join either! I will join the NT as well, partly because they do so much kids stuff though the school holidays.

I agree with wilkos that it's ok to keep it lowkey lots of the time. The weekends seemed really long at first, but that changes as you get into routines and things settle down. My ds was 1 when we split, but now he's 2 it's easier (he tantrumed madly from about 18m to 2!). We did loads of local walks at first/ to the park etc. I also made as many arrangements I could with local friends to meet up.

Now I tend to have some weekends when my mum comes down. I also visit ex's mum quite frequently as we still get on really well. I'm lucky in that I have a very close friend with a 3 year old who usually wants to meet during the weekend - we go to local farms, The national trust does have great places to visit (we're members and I'll rejoin next year too) - also some garden centres are free and fantastic - we have one near us with all sorts of great places (sheds/ conservatories to explore!!! - as well as a couple of play areas)

But we also have loads of time at home now, chilling, and I've realised that my older DD especially LOVES having time just to play in her room/ our garden/ house.

My dd always has a dancing lesson on a Saturday morning and we go to church on a Sunday so we work around that. I like to try and make sure I get some adult contact on both days if I can for my own sanity. What we do varies - trips to park, walks in the countryside, shopping trips, visiting family, playing at home, watching dvds, crafty things, cooking. Sometimes just us, sometimes with friends or family. This time of the year my children enjoy playing out with neighbours children. I sometimes let my dd (6) stay up a bit later on a Saturday so she can have some one-to-one time with me without her younger brother (3). I like to have some sort of loose plan for the weekend as I feel my time with them is precious and want to make the most of it.

After spending every weekend with h, it's hard to find people to go out with now.

We went to the park, baked a cake and they had a fun bath with some new playmobil toys I had bought them.

It was a strange weekend but I guess I'll get used to it. The weekends I don't have them are even stranger!

how new is this situation for you? My exH left 2 yrs ago. I now have a 5 yr old and 18 month old. The weekends were bloody hard at first. I remember them so well! But only because Im reading your thread. I dont think about them now. Its changed a lot. I now dont feel like i need to be racing around filling my time. Yesterday we pottered around house most of the morning, went to park, had a bath. Much like yours! other days are packed and Im out of the house all day. What I found at the beginning was having stuff organised so I wasnt on my own if I didnt want to be. I did a lot of play dates, soft play, picnics, days in the woods, farm visits, steam trains etc etc. How old are yours? I found toddler groups/school run/joining a choir/all good ways of meeting like minded mums.

H left at the end of June. This was the second weekend I've had them by self.

I need to get out and meet people more but I find it so difficult.

My children are of a similar age to yours soul.

Do any of you go to farms, oft play etc just by yourself with your children. I tend to feel self concious when I do this.

I need to change my mindset I know

I felt self-conscious doing things on my own with dd too, as I got obsessed with weekends being 'family' time but then I realised loads of two-parent households take kids out on their own at weekends for loads of reasons. I've been hanging about the same park for 4 years on my own with dd and one of the dads I see nearly every time I go has only just realised I am a single parent.

When dd was younger (she's now 6) I did loads of things I wanted to do, like parks and gardens, farmyards, events, festivals, museums and galleries. We also used to go to cafes and restaurants so I felt human and grown up but I only had one child with me and she did enjoy going and soaking up the attention of being the only child wherever we were, so I'm not sure how easy it would be to get away with this. Now she's a bit bigger, she loves being at home and fiddling about with her little things and so on so that's what we do. She did always love making things, colouring in and the like. I was v. skint at one time while she was single and found loads of free things to do with her.

It wasn't easy in the beginning, i felt so heartbroken to be doing all that lovely stuff alone with no-one to share her with but ex was such a misery, I began to realise that if he had still been around, I would never have got to do anything at all.

It gets easier xx

I'm the resident parent here, but my DD's biggest comment when she has been to her dads for the day/weekend is that she doesn't think she has enough time "just with him doing stuff at home" because they are always out. Shes really into arty/craft and make-believe games and is happiest when whichever adult is around is actually doing that stuff with her (not leaving her to do it on her own).

It's 6 months through the year and shes got stuff at her fathers house that she was given at xmas that she hasn't yet played with because they are always "out" on day trips/visits to places on the weekends she is there.

It must be difficult for the NRP but if you can find what they like - messy play, painting, noisy games, sporty stuff, baking, making a den etc then that will be a good option for you to actively do those things with the children. Your children will value the time you spend with them more than what they are actually doing.

agree that getting used to feelign it is ok jsut to be at home is absolutely fine.
do make one trip out even if is to local shop to buy milk/sunday paper or park though , make one effort to get out of hosue - tho it is ok to schedule a pyjama day too.

of course is fine to go out to farm park etc on your own - many parents do.

check if local library does story time ona sat or sunday?
or the local book shop?

sorry OP, when I started to post last night from my phone there was only 1 reply - by time it posted there were loads and I can now see that you are the resident parent.
My Dd is 6 and loves movie nights/afternoons with me (curtains shut, home made popcorn and her choice of movie). Swimming can take up a whole afternoon (depends on your own comfort in the water/local pool rules on having more than 1 small child with you in the water)
Making dens out of the sheets and washing maids in the lounge is a fave on a rainy day and ive spent hours squashed into the den having a tea party with DD and various teddies.
We have some local lakes that have easy accessible walks around them and we play "spot the..." and make it into a treasure hunt.
Surprisingly riding on the tram/train/bus to "no where special" and coming back again is a huge cause for excitement (I suspect because we usually drive everywhere)
I agree its slightly strange having them on your own at first and I did wonder if folk would judge me as a single parent (took wedding ring off when ex left when DD was 2yrs) but I found that people didn't stare at all.

Hang in there DFA, it does get easier to sort the weekend activities (whether home or out)

you can have a fab time without spending lots of money, i used to do a Mcmammy night, just cooking them a burger, fries and sticking a cheap toy with it, the children loved it as even they could see the effort i had gone too, film nights, board games, we live close to a mountain so we,d go blackberry picking then have fun making a tart. i did a tresure hunt in our local park, wrote lots of fun clues, stuck them around the park, the tresure at the end was the picnic i had in my bag, it cost a few pound for the food but otherwise was totally free. swimming is also a great low cost activity, plus it totally wears them out. some days though the children are just happy to chill out and relax at home, my son is 11 now and he tells me that dad always makes them go somewhere, but sometimes he justs want to relax at home and be a bit lazy, think sometimes it just parents worrying that we "have" to take them somewhere or do somehing or it somehow makes us bad parents, but that just rubbish x

I do everything that i would do if I wasn't a single mum tbh. I enjoy doing lots of stuff without misery guts ex

But don't fall into the trap of thinking that you need to be 'doing' stuff every weekend. Kids love watching a DVD with popcorn of a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Great suggestions, thank you. And you are all right, staying in is fine and movie afternights/nights sound like fun, dd1 would love making popcorn!

It really is hard for me not to feel self conscious when out by myself at weekends but I guess that will pass in time