First appointment with CAFCASS officer, wot can i expect?

[7up]

all she said was it takes about an hour, just wondered if there was any paperwork or anything i should take so im more prepared and what it involves really. my ex is seeing her 2 hours before me. have to go out now but would appreciate any replies. thankyou very much

I found some of my friends were really helpful aswell. They seemed to have much longer memories than me and were forever saying,"do you remember when he....." which was great cos I had forgotton. So i used to get them to read the rough report i had written and then they might be able to remember other stuff to.

when have you got to go back to court? We are back on the 16th March. Am debating whether to take solicitor as she is bloody expensive and doesn't seem to do much.

court not till april 21st, dya rekon cafcass would have done report by then if my meeting with them is on 28th March? is your ex still fighting for access then, even tho your ds doesnt wana see him. poor lad, must be very upsetting for him

I think he/she could probably get a report ready for that time. They only write it out in accordance with their own findings with you and kids, therefore if they have been told to do it by the 21 April then they will have to.
Ds doesn't seem all that bothered to be honest. X has written some nice letters, which ds had enjoyed reading in the comfort of his own home but unsure how he would feel if he had to see him. To be honest I really didnt want him to when all this started but have resigned myself to the fact that as long as my x ensures that he is safe, happy and spoils him rotten then I don't mind.

it might give you a break as well. thats wot im thinking ahead for and trying to accept, that hes his dad and is by law entitled to see him. think its coz my ds so young and i wouldnt wana hand him over unsupervised if i had my way till he was about 4 coz i wouldnt worry about him so much.my ex has no commonsense, even tho hes a teacher. i would def worry for ds safety if he had him unsupervised. solicitor told me that contact centre visits are for 6 months then he would be able to have him unsupervised. ds will only be 2years!

Is/was he a good Dad?

we split when i was 4months pregnant. left my lovely rented big bungalow id been in for 8years and my elder ds loved. moved to his area, changed sons school and then he threw us out, we slept on a mates floor for 3 weeks, then got a grotty flat with no heating till little ds was 3months old, now in a pokey 2up 2down

oh my god,i already want to stick pins in his eyes, what a wanker, so he hasnt seen your ds at all since he was born other than those 7 weeks? What was he like with your older ds?

he was ok with my older ds but has since dropped him like a ton of bricks which is horrible.when he did visit for those 7 weeks hes just so slobby and didnt have a clue how to interact with a toddler, little ds just ignored him really. it really pisses me off coz he rekons hes reduced the maintenance coz of court costs!he always said "court this, court that" so its his own fault. he went on hols to tokyo week before last and drives a flash car and the sols have told me that money doesnt come into it. cant figure that out myself, if youre a good dad surely you provide for your child . love the pins in eyes comment

will you let me know how it goes and contact me if you need to chat anytime. I check into mumsnet pretty much every day but my email is [email protected]

thankyou charliegirl, ive written your email down. hope it goes ok on the 16th for you. thanks for the chat

mummypumpkin, the court have asked cafcass to do a report because there is no communication between me and my ex and i couldnt be in the same room as him

Hi Mummypumpkin,
when we first went to court we were asked to talk things through with a cafcass officer before we went in, to decide whether anything can be resolved before we went into court. They requested that we do this together. I refused to go in with him and we had to see the man seperately. We couldn't come to an agreement so I contested his request for access in the court room and the court ordered that a cafcass officer was to make a report. his was put together then by her visiting me, my x and his family, my ds and then putting it alltogether and advising the courts on her findings.
This is done because a judge dos not have time to discuss all this with you in the cort room. Usually the courts will go with the advice from the cafcass report.

mummy, def tell them you dont want to be in the same room as him. i had to sit opposite him in front of the judge last time and i felt so intimidated, i dont know if i'l have to see him infront of the actual judge next time or not. my solicitor knows that i cant bear to be around him.

my ex doesnt have PR and im refusing to give it at present, which il tell cafcass at the end of the month.

no they havent said he'l get it!i think he needs to prove that hes a responsible parent before he gets any 'extras' as in PR. my ex is a control freak who if he was awarded this he would be butting into my life about any little thing "because he has the rights". i told my solicitor this and she seemed fine about it. also i have concerns that the exes father is out to get my ds and i think if the ex has PR, his father would say something like "thats it son, we can get him now, its all in the paperwork". pair of twats

mummypumpkin, im reading your other thread aswell. how come hes got unsupervised contact when he hasnt seen him since he was 1.i can understand his apprehension about going off with a stranger, praps you should mention this to the cafcuss officer and you could bite the bullet and be around 'him' for a few visits till your son feels more comfortable around him.

Hi you two, my x went for parental responsibility aswell as contact. He was granted indirect contact but the pr was adjourned which is why we are going back to court on 16 march. My solicitor told me that there is not much point them granting him it if he has no access. So god knows what the pointis in us going back to court.

How can your solicitor advise you on something and then backtrack. This must be a bloody nightmare for you. Have you not explained this to the courts that he is behaving irrationally and have you any witnesses to this?