Can I apply for full parental responsibility?

[normaleggy]

I split from my husband last August after years of his cheating and lying and emotional abuse. He threatened all along that if we didn't get back together he did not want to see the kids anymore. I didn't really believe him and stood firmly by my decision to leave which i don not regret for one second. However he has not seen the kids for 3 months now, has changed his number and seemingly wants no more to do with them, although he is paying (some) maintenance.

Does anybody know if I am able to apply for full parental responsibility? I am terrified of the thought that something will happen to me and he will turn up and take the kids away from my family and friends who have been so wonderfully supportive to me and my 2 DCs, just out of spite. If I had full PR, can I then make a will to say that in the event of my death I would like X and X to have full guardianship of my dcs?

Would be very grateful for any advice or experience in this matter.

It is difficult to remove pr.
But you can make a will and name a guardian.
He would have the right to apply for residence but a court may take into account his contact with the dc up to that point.

You can apply for sole residency . That is different.

A judge would not remove his parental responsibility!! They very rarely do, even for extreme cases

Sorry, you have no chance of removing it from him. But you have full PR already.

Come on, 3 months is nothing

I know 3 months is not a long time really, but he has said all along that he will cut all ties and I believe that is exactly what he has done and will continue to do.
Thanks anyway, will go ahead and make the will x

I know exactly what you're saying OP and I completely understand, as things can happen. You are right to make a will and consider guardianship. I'm not sure about the legalities of it but as cestlavie said, if DP hasn't seen the dcs for years if something happened to you, I would say your named guardians would have a big say in what happens to them.

All that would happen is he would get access to build up to taking residency of them. He's likely to get it as he has PR. Guardians would still need to be assessed by SS too.

That is assuming he wants it, Katherine. You never know where people will be in the future - he may have a new partner, other children, be living in another country. It's all about what's best for the children and it is wise to name a guardian in case your partner really can't do it. In fact I would name several guardians.

You already have PR. PR is rarely revoked because the courts tend to keep the option open for a relationship to be established, even if it's a long way in the future.

There is a no order principle meaning that the courts should only make an Residence Order when there is no other way of resolving a dispute and an order would make things better for the child.

A guardian can be named in a will and if there was a residence order in your favour the guardian would automatically have PR along with your ex should you meet your demise. When there is no residence order the guardian would only PR if there was no one else alive with PR. Either way in practice the court if necessary can hear a case and determine where a child shall live very quickly. It's very unlikely they would disrupt a child's sense of security and established bonds to place a child with a parent who doesn't have a substantial amount of contact.

So ultimately the law protects the interests of the child above all else. Even if there is a living parent with PR, if contact is more frequent with grandparents or close friends and they are the named guardian in the Will it means the child is more likely to stay with them?

I'm currently going through a tricky situation with a relative who has died and I am being elbowed out of contact with the child while the remaining adults fight over him. I'm steering clear because I don't want to add to the fray and cause more distress to the child. Needless to say there was no Will.

PR cannot be removed unless the child is freed for adoption. Even with care orders it's only shared between parents and local authority. When you have made the will make sure you share it with the intended guardians and talk to them about it - would make things easier should the worst happen

Unlikely... it's been about 18 months since exp moved out. (or saw dc's)I spoke to a solicitor a while ago about the possibility of having PR removed and they pretty much said that it'd be highly unlikely for PR to be removedt by a court if he wasn't a serial killer (he's not, he's just a nasty piece of work).

I know PR is different to residency etc... but it's just not the same knowing he has it - potentially he could kick up a stink about school/ going on holiday/ medical care etc etc.... I know that even if I died he'd hopefully not get the kids, but it's still a bit of a grey cloud hanging over me. As he has no contact with any of us the amount of kicking off he could do is somewhat limited, but he knows what school dc's go to... where we live etc.... so if he wanted to he could find out enoguh to be obstructive. Which in my opinion isn't in the best interests of the children, but what do I know?!! Gahhhh!!!! [tea]

Balls, what's the symbol for tea??? Oh, who calls it that?

he "could" - but he isnt right now.

you are worrying about something that isnt happening.

when it does you address it.

until then, just get on with your life.

(a quick couse of cbt type therapy can do wonders for dealing with anxieties over "what if" scenarios" )

Making a Will is by definition dealing with a "what if" scenario - not sure OP needs CBT in order to make a Will?

I'd say guardianship is the way to go. He retains PR but that doesn't necessarily mean he will get residence.

CBT therapy counselling cann helpone deal with anxietieis.
anxieties are about what he might do.
therapy/counselling/cbt can help one develop strategies for dealing with such anxieties.

one way to deal with anxiety is to act as far as you can eg make a will.
then forget about it.

dont get anxious about stuff you cant control or stuff that isnt even happening.

But if the anxieties are entirety reasonable then I can't see how cbt would help?

Also, cestlavielife I don't think she'll be able to cross the bridge, because unless I've got the wrong end of the stick- she'll be dead!!

@121