moving on with somebody else?

[savy57]

do you think you could ever do it, ive been single for what feels like forever now(few years) and not even went on a date, ive been i suppose what you could call it flirting with a work mate for last few years but everytime he asks me out i run in the oppisit direction
last relationship was very abusive controlling etc... but i really do feel like ive built back up my self esteem and confidence quiet considerably

ive been asked out again and all though i feel as if my heart wants to say yes the head over rules and ive said no

Hey Savy - go for it! Is it the guy from work who asked you out again?

The whole point of breaking away from a controlling and abusive partner is because you want to be free to enjoy life to the fullest.

Have you ever thought about internet dating? I'm going to try it when I'm back on my feet.

Maybe you could go on a few dates through the internet then pluck up the courage to go on a date with this guy.

Good luck!

What do you think your afraid of?

I'm doing it on Saturday
Been seeing him a couple of years. Met via the internet. He's lovely though and the relationship has definitely helped me build up my self esteem. Right this minute the moving in thing feels enoumously stressful, but the relationship for the last two years has been a great part of my life. Go for it, meet for a date, and take it cautiously from there.

Hi summer no it was somebody else but guy from work is always asking and I do like him, good luck with the internet dating don't think I could ever do that I would be a nervous wreck

I don't no i guess I worrie to much about everything I no we r talking a date here but I'm always thinking if things were ever to move on with anybody and any bedroom action was to happen lols he would think i was really a fat mess, you can hide a lot under clothes
Aww i don't no maybe being single for life is the way forward for me

And purpleroses good luck hope it all works out for you both :)

Aw dont say that! I feel the same after having 3 DC and becoming single.
Seriously dont think about that yet! Go on a date and enjoy yourself!

After 2.5 years single, I joined a couple of internet dating sites, primarily to go on a few 'dates' i.e. to spend some time with some single men as a single woman as it was an aspect of my life that was completely missing (the men I know are all happily married or gay!). It took me time to build up to it and I felt very exposed doing it. But I found I could take it at my pace and I was surprised how much I could tell about someone from a few texts.

Because I wasn't looking for a relationship, I was reasonably calm about my first dates - I made an effort and looked forward to it but wasn't expecting anything beyond a pleasant few hours with someone who was interested in spending a few hours with me. The first man I met was nice, but there was no connection and we both really knew it.

The second man I met - well that was a different matter. I actually felt attracted to him, he made me laugh and we could happily have carried on chatting but I had somewhere else I needed to be. We saw each other again 2 weeks later and everything has gone from strength to strength. I feel good about myself when I am with him. He thinks I'm beautiful (I'm a saggy, tired mum of 3 in my late 40s), sexy (as before) etc etc. I was never going to take my clothes off in front of a man ever again but when it came to it, it simply wasn't an issue (and no-one is more surprised by that than me!).

I felt my life was pretty good before, but now I realise I was surviving rather than living. Whatever happens with this relationship, and it's never going to be easy as we both have children and complicated lives, I will always have some lovely memories and know that I am still an attractive, desirable woman (rather than just a mother, friend, employee, etc).

I'd say go for it....you only get one life!!! I've been single mum to 3 kids for a while and would love to be in your position....oh to have someone ask me out...lol!! If your unsure, take it slow and you'll know when the times right. I have tried Internet dating but it's not for me....but that's not to say its not for everyone else! Good luck and keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll get there :) x

Your increased self-esteem and confidence are probably, in part, what's leading these men to ask you out, it's a really attractive quality. Could you be possibly investing too much significance in the word 'date', expecting a lot to come from it and therefore you're backing off as it feels too scary? Why not dip your toe in the water and treat it like you would if going out with a friend?

Out of interest which man do you like more?

Aww Thanks ladies, think i might just go for it and stop stressing but I will prob change my mind tomorrow again

Valentine the man from work, I'm not even looking for a relationship at all, just looking to put some fun back into my life so don't think its that, I think I'm still some what screwed up in the head after the last numpty that I just fear all men are the same. But for sure just need to stop thinking and start living again

You need to to say 'Yes' a lot more!

Could you speak to the man at work who keeps asking your out and say you'd like to go out as friends, given your bruising experience with the last man in your life?