Disappointed

[SidelinedMum]

My appointment with the solicitor didn't go too well - I struggled to be heard, really.
Once I had managed to get my point accross, she was very sympathetic - but unless DD consistantly says that she wants the 50:50 to change, theres nothing I can legally do.
She recommended mediation and counselling/support for DD.

She also criticised my previous choices - which was so unhelpful - I already know I've let DD down, but she left me with the impression that my mistakes cannot be rectified

Today is a new day - make the most of your time with dd. The only thing you can control is how good a mother you are when she is in your care. But do make sure things like school reports, parents evening appointments come straight through the post to you.

I know you're right - I'm just a bit peeved that I didn't really get 'legal advice' - she was more keen to emphasis the way I could support DD; I realise that it's better for DD if we do avoid court, but I would like to know the legal options, and went to a solicitors to find that out!

Oh well, she's given me a few things to think about.

In particular, I have decided not to allow my fear of him making a scene overrule my gut feelings about what is right for DD.
So, if she wants to spend an extra couple of hours here after school, rather than have to go back to her Dad because its his time, I'm going to let her do that - even though I know he'll turn up on the doorstep and cause a scene.

I'm sorry it didn't go so well :-( It is so frustrating that there is actually little that can be done legally. It feels like the most you can do is take the moral high ground :-/

I've been taking 'the moral high ground' for too long

In my effort not to get dragged into a fight over DD, and my attempts to avoid being branded a bitter exw using her DC to get revenge, I've totally missed the fact that DD has been getting more and more unhappy.

She was tearful just recalling a conversation in which he endlessly questioned her about why she wanted to do something with me rather than with him. She says that she knows that 'she upsets him' when she disagrees with something he's planned for her - she can tell by the look on his face that he is upset with her - no child should feel that responsible for their parents emotions, should they?

No, no more moral high ground - I am going to start fighting back, and making sure someone stands up for DD

Do not blame yourself - you were doing what you felt was right - I'm right with you Sidelined. You have something to fight with - your DD. My DD1 wouldn't be there with me.

Together, you and your DD can make things right x