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what would you have done

6 replies

mummymcphee · 06/07/2012 21:34

A bit complex. Will be brief. Ex assualted me and was arrested in January 2011. I find out I am 6 weeks pregnant. He is released with a caution and a few weeks later I see him with a new gf. They carry on as If the baby and I do not exsist. Multiple overseas holidays taken by them including when dd was born. Meanwhile I go back to work full time, sell my car and am basically in poverty due to cost of nursery. Ex and gf ignore me in the street. Ex has threatened me against contacting CSA or dd's siblings.

Fast forward to last night : Ex and his gf are on hols abroad ( for the sixth time in 9 months) and she has contacted me via facebook and wants to find out what happened between her partner and me. He has been violent with her. Would you have tried to warn her about him....I had the perfect opportunity to do so recently I have very mixed feelings!

OP posts:
mummymcphee · 06/07/2012 21:40

I should add that I am feeling terrible that she has been hurt! I am worried about meeting her as I will find it difficult to talk about the assault but I know that is what she wants to know.

OP posts:
TheDreadedFoosa · 06/07/2012 21:46

I wouldnt personally.
You have to look afte yourself and she shouldnt need your history to make her own decisions.
It is probably likely their relationship would continue anyway and you will be cast as the bitter ex trying to ruin things for them.
Im sure others will feel that she deserves solidarity and support as the victim of dv but tbh, if she wants to leave she will and if not she wont, i doubt anything you say will make a difference.

mummymcphee · 06/07/2012 21:57

Thanks TheDreaded! I too think she is trying to decide whether to go back to him or not and that probably means she will get back with him! I am not sure also if I am just a pawn in a game to piss him off. He is aware that she has contacted me via facebook. She could easily have contacted me discreetly without him knowing.

What would meeting her acheive ?

OP posts:
struwelpeter · 06/07/2012 22:25

My thought would be do a small amount of solidarity i.e. ex was arrested and convicted (?) of assault/battery? in January 2011 and received x sentence. Then ask her not to contact you again and block her on Facebook. Then she has the info she needs and it's up to her what to do with it.

RedHelenB · 07/07/2012 08:38

Agree with stru. Though I would have contacted CSA for maintenance from the off.

Mumfun · 07/07/2012 09:41

Agree with RedHelen

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