Am just so knackered!!

[Nat38]

Hi
Have been a single parent now for about 6 weeks.
Im really happy, just me & my 2 DDs, ages 12 & 13
But.............
I`m just so tired all the time!! Is that normal?? How can I stop being tired for the majority of the time?? I know all the basic things eg going bed earlier etc!! How do you all cope?? What are your secrets to not being tired so much of the time??
Many thanks in advance for any secrets!!

Ooh difficult one to judge! Are you drinking lots of water?

Life changes sometimes take a while to bed in, perhaps you just need a bit of time to get used to the new arrangements. Sorry I'm not being a huge amount of help without knowing more about your circumstance.

Thanks for that!! Yes I am drinking water, not as much as what I should probably, but more than I ever have!!
Yes, I probably do need to give it a lot longer, so we can settle into a completly new routine-altough I think we weel on the way with that!!
It has been an amicable split with ex-DH!! It`s going ok at the moment! Hoping that it can carry on like this always!

Best of luck and welcome to lone parents life-it's a lot of fun!

However amicable, it's a huge change, I found it took me several months to adjust, and yes I was very, very tired. Best of luck

do you get any time just to yourself - the whole 24 hours?

You may find it is the emotional aspects that have been draining you. Stress and anxiety can take such a toll on your body.
I am sure once you get in a routine and your stress levels drop your body will not be working overtime as much and you should be able to relax and have more energy.

Thanks all! What you all said makes sense, so I think Ill just have to ride it out & hopefully Ill have more energy soon!

I have been on my own since march with two young kids and am still finding myself exhausted. I think for me it is a combination of being emotionally tired, getting nearly no breaks from the children, and late nights/early mornings.

So to deal with it... actually being very silly and just not making myself go to sleep at a sensible time, combined with my angels waking me up at 6 am. Must do something proactive about this.

Breaks from kids... I am working on that support network and moving closer to family, so that I can get out and about without children, and start working with support too. (Apparently their father seeing the children is too much of a 'favour' to me (well I might go out and do something fun?!), so it has been 4 weeks and counting now).

Emotional tiredness, that is harder, I think that with time that will get better as long as I am good to myself. The end of a relationship and all the emotions that go with that, and changes you need to make, just are tiring.

I've been on my own for nearly 4 years, trying to hold down a permanent job with a 9yo and 4yo and it's still bloody tough, but I think that's because my exh doesn't contribute anything towards his children, be it financially, emotionally or physically. Everything falls on my shoulders, my anxiety and stress levels are through the roof and no matter how much or how little sleep I get a night, I'm still so very tired. I didn't really want to bring a downer on everyone but this is my version of being a single mother xx

Thanks Daffy for your input, I`m also rebuilding my support network, as ex-DH made it difficult for me to keep it up after he got made redundant a few years ago & I started a new job in the middle of the day as opposed to evenings also made it difficult to keep the support group of friends there!!

Lights thank-you too, I do value honest opinions/experiances! I think Ex will be there emotionally to some extent & definatly there physically for the kids. But I think your right about the stress & anxiety due to it all being on my shoulders now & I have to call someone if I`m in doubt about anything, including ex-DH, where he was just there before to chat to & discuss the kids-I now have to pick up the phone to do that!!

Nat - it's great that your ex is still so involved but you may find if you don't ring him all the time (not that you may do) and think it through yourself it gives you more confidence and reduces some stress. (A councillor once told me not to keep reaching out) and it worked - she says on here reaching out lol

Keep Calm and Carry On.

I have been on my own for 4 years now with Dss now 9 and 6 next to no help physically from exH let alone financial. Now I don't even expect it so I'm not disappointed just disappointed for the DSs. Anyway, over the years I have had to concede changes to keep the energy and stress levels manageable:

Fewer working hours (your health is more important than money)
Earlier nights when you can
Factoring in time for yourself (e.g an afternoon at the cinema, reading a book etc) not just doing chores
And crucially I get a huge amount of support from my church (not saying that's for you but don't be too shy/proud to accept help where it's offered.
You will be fine, also sounds like your daughters are old enough to give you a helping hand too

Thanks all! Am taking on board all of your advice & putting it into practice now or very, very soon