Were you single or close to it whilst pregnant/giving birth?

[Amitolamummy]

I'm looking to get into Hynobirthing/Doula work and being a single parent myself am thinking about aiming my business partly towards single mums. I seperated from my sons dad before having our youngest, but we were still living together. He was present at my homebirth but I felt far more supported by my lovely midwife.
I'm wondering if there would be much call for this service and what people would want? It would have been the cost putting me off so am thinking of offering something cheaper. Offering a service that supports ladies through their choices about where to birth, hypnobirthing, having someone to talk through things with etc.
Any input and opinions appreciated, thanks.

Anyone?

Yes, I was, but had best friend and her partner as my birth partners -
a doula wouldn't have been my thing. However single mums being a subset of women in general, not some strange alien species, I'd imagine some would like a doula, some not. Your problem, I suspect, will be that your pool of potential customers will be v small (most single mums become so after relationship breakups once children are already on the scene). Be prepared to do a lot of births for conventional couples and see this as an additional service that you are well placed to provide, rather than basing your whole business on it.

One of my close friends was my birth partner & is now training to be a midwife! I think the biggest hurdle would be the expense tbh. Surely your ordinary midwife and antenatal classes cover what you are on about?

I don't believe I insinuated that single women were a strange alien species. I myself am single with no family and did not have a close friend to ask to be there with me as my lovely ex sent them all packing.
Yes I wasn't planning to base the business on it, just offer that support to women who may be in a similar position.
There are not many antenatal classes around these days and midwives are not always supportive of natural birth choices. Everything also seens geared towards couples, which obviously makes sense, but could be somewhat isolating to ladies who are on their own.
Thanks

My exh was away working for 6 months of one of my pregnancies. It wasn't easy but this wouldn't be something I'd even consider. Sorry.

I wasn't single when I had my DC, but tbh if I had been I'm sure I would have turned to friends for support rather than a doula. But an advert for caring support for single mums might have caught my eye. As you said though, the expense probably would have put me off when there is so much free support out there.
Not sure that's been helpful, sorry!

Hello :)

I think this is a great idea, there are so many woman who do not have the birth choices they would want due to personal circumstances and probably financial restraints too! It would be great if you let all your local/regional midwifes know that you offered tailored support to single (I suspect isolated for whatever reason) mums. I think this wouldn't be for everyone however its a very special service to offer and could be a life saver to someone

I did my second pregnancy on my own and the thing I really really struggled with was looking forward to the arrival of my dd, there were some days I wished I wasn't pregnant I am ashamed to say and I knew no-one in RL who understood all the awful horrible emotions involved in carrying a child with the contempt, lack of support and hatred of the father. Maybe a support group would be a good thing to offer, or one on one bump bonding...I think having someone encouraging love and support during that horrible time would be INCREDIBLE! Maybe massaging bump, visualisations of baby etc...sorry just a little mind diarhhorea...I love your thinking though :)

x

Thank you. I'm glad it isn't just me thinking this could be useful.
That sounds hard. I struggled with some emotions that people didn't really understand whilst pregnant.
All I need now is some childcare so I can actually work.. hmm :)

I found when I was preg with DD and working that a childminder was what worked best for ds and I. We were really fortunate that she was flexible, understanding of my single parenthood, and also financially it worked out better at £4ph. I also really liked that ds was in a homely environment with one on one attention...the max number of children was 3 so I knew he was bonding, being loved and had great activities planned for his day. Some people don't like childminding route as they don't like the intimacy of another (usually a) woman caring for their young one. Personally I cherished their bond as I knew ds was receiving really special care iyswim :) x

I looked into a Doula when single and expecting DS2. I didn't go with it in the end - not really my thing, didn't gel with her and in the end EXP decided he wanted to be present and I didn't fancy a cast of thousands. I was also worried about costs but she told me in our area there is a fund she could access so I wouldn't have had to pay. Could be worth looking into as a selling point to what you are offering.

Yep, I was single throughout my pregnancy. I went to all my scans and ante-natal appointments alone, although my sister was there for me when I gave birth. It was a hard and lonely time and quite miserable.

I am single and pg. I'm considering hiring a a doula as only have dm as a birth partner and worried about leaving dd with a friend in case it's a v long time.
I think lone parents need to know about doula services and make informed choices. Good luck

well I was single when I was having my son,and had my brother my mum and my brothers girlfriend with me:))) While my ex,stayed at home as I didnt want him anywhere near me.It probably is a good idea for someone who has no one really.and hey ----I can babysit for you !:) im dead seriuos !

I broke up with my ex at 7 weeks pg and moved back home although both he and my mother were at the birth.

I think what you are offering is a great idea and someone that is isolated may well really appreciate it.In order to widen your target market have you though about offering your services post natally aswell? Of course not all mums are single via marital status and some are single as their partners are in the services or offshore etc.

I know what your aiming at it probably around the time of birth but what if you could offer a service for the 2 weeks a partnered women would have her partner on paternity leave. As i was living at home I had both my parents to continue with the normal family stuff and didnt have to worry about cooking dinners, keeping on top of the washing etc whilst getting to grips with being a mother and this was a huge help and allowed me to concentrate on getting breastfeeding right and recover from giving birth and is something Ill always thank them for. This sort of mothers help might be great for those planning on having an elective ceaseran.

hmmm I just went to the Doula website and realised that a doula does all the postnatal stuff I mentioned above. I plead iignorance lol.

I hope it works out well for you

I was single from 3 months pg and I didn't have a birth partner. I woudn't have been able to consider a doula or any of the services you describe as I had no spare cash at all at the time. It's something I might have considered if there was funding available for those on a low income, e.g. through grants.

I was fairly pragmatic about the whole labour business though and didn't feel like I needed a birth partner or anything other than the most straightforward medically recommended option. It paid off too as I just wasn't stressed about it and recovered quickly with no stitches or anything, I think women often feel bombarded with choice these days and that actually contributes to their anxiety.