I'm so lonely, all my friends have abandoned me

[sapphirestar]

What are you supposed to do when you're closest friends have forgotten you? I have 5 friends I would class as my best friends. 1+2 got engaged and I found out from someone else. 3's dad died and I found out via Facebook. 4+5 I haven't seen in over two months now. This last week has been the worst, I can't bear the loneliness. I have a 3 yr old de, none of the others have kids. I've been single for 2 years and I know when you have a partner you want to spend time with them but I would never neglect my friends.
I'm not good at making new friends, i'm quiet and my confidence has depleted rapidly over the last few years. I see the same people at work everyday so no chance to meet new people.
I just don't know how to feel better...

poor you :(
I know the feeling - people just want to spend time with their partners, and us single people get forgotten :(
But, can you get out to toddler groups to meet other mums?
Or contact your friends first. I sometimes leave contacting my married mates to see if they'll EVER think of contacting me. they do, but it takes ages, as they are so busy with their lives. So I make the effort. I figure I need them more than they need me, and it's a bit shit but probably true.
Or try online dating. It's a great way of getting to meet people. And you never know what will happen. You need a thick skin though. But it's kind of my hobby! haha!
Or do things for yourself - learn a new hobby, keep yourself occupied so you enjoy your time alone more.
Massive hug. Weekends are always harder as it always seems everyone is out having a good time except us :(

Try letting it all out on MN.

You are not alone and there are always loads of people willing to listen.

I don't want to upset you, but I have been totally alone since May 2004. Not a sniff

And beware of those saying that online is the answer. I am online and still no-one is interested.

So, nothing concrete to offer, other than - you are not alone, and we understand and empathise with how you feel

I work everyday so not much chance of toddler groups. I have contacted a couple of above mates but I get 'on yeah, keep meaning to see you but just been too busy'. I'm afraid I don't have much of a thick skin though, or broadband at home (posting this on my phone). Thanks for replying though, nice to know there are people out there. Been crying since I posted, writing it down makes it seem so final. Wondering when I became so boring!

Thanks amithatbad, thinking of stealing your name! Been a lurker on mn for ages but not posted much, thought there seemed to be a lot of cliques, but nice to be proven wrong!

Are you friends with anyone at work? or is there anyone who is potential friend material?
Can you pin your mates down to a definite date?
Where are you in the country? Can you enrol dd in a club at the weekend to meet mums?
I do feel your pain though. I think very few people understand the loneliness of being a lone parent

I do have friends at work, it's possibly my favourite time of day at the mo! But not the kind I could go to when I feel low like this they're the people I can be me with, rather than mummy. We do meet up out of work every couple of months.
I'm in north Yorkshire. Hope this won't sound bad but I'm not a 'mumsy' type or very girly, so generally get on better with blokes, or like minded females. Not in a flirty way, but it seems to make their girlfriends uncomfortable. Only one of the above is an ex, and one a female.

that's actually what I found online dating handy for. I've had a few boyfriends off there, but have made more male friends that I keep in touch with and go out with from time to time.

Maybe that's an avenue I'll have to revisit then! I need a cinema buddy! I do have my mum to have dd if I want to go out, just never get invited anywhere. I'm quite content with my own company, I have a kindle and like cross stitching. Just know once you get stuck being home all the time, it's hard to pull yourself out of it.

Or you could take advantage at having all that time to yourself to do those things you want to do?
Or how about going out on your own? I've done it a few times. It takes guts to speak to a random stranger, but most people are friendly. And it really improved my social skills.
Or join a group if your mum will have dd?

Jeez Saph you sound just like me I've always worked FT and work in a largely male dominated industry. So I meet loads of blokes, but they see me as one of them. Have never had much in common with the school gate mums - and not because I didn't want to get involved in coffees, kids playing, etc - more that I haven't been able to as I am always rushing to and from work.

I have friends with lots of different backgrounds/circumstances, but I am the only one who can't go out when she wants. I've kind of learned to accept it.

But I still feel insanely jealous of those that don't have the restrictions on their lives that I have. I would love to just nip out to the gym in the evening, Fat fuckin chance of that [griin]

And I'm a threadkiiler, than a clique member

Yes thats it, im one of the lads, (I'm 25 and work in IT) dont fit in with the mums I see when I go to a party with dd. Can chat for an hour or so but they're not friend material. I've actually just arranged to see one of my friends on wed for a coffee, it'll only be an hour, and dd will be there but it's more than I had an hour ago!
Think I've just hit rock this week because my best friend from school got engaged, but my ex told me, and then sat taunting me that he knew and I didnt and wasnt I pissed off about it (ex is a knob!). It stung because only a couple of years ago he would have dragged me round every jewellers in a 50 mile radius helping him choose a ring! Not sure how we lost that

glad you've sorted something out :)

Thanks for your support, both of you. I'm glad I posted, I do actually feel a little better now. You are lovely people!

no problem! I know what it's like :)
Biggest thing I learnt was you HAVE to be proactive. i had a shit weekend a couple of weeks ago. Was really low, lonely and had no motivation. I MADE myself do something (invited myself over to friends) and I ended up having one of the best weekends I'd had for a long time. I learnt my lesson. It's hard, and unfortunately you have to do all the work, but it's worth the effort.

.......and so are you

And you are lucky with the ring

As I posted in another thread, my ExP got mine in Argoe

oops.........meant Argos

Right, my plan is to get some sleep coz things always seem better in the morning and then tomorrow I will text my friend and demand we pin down a date to do something!
Night, hope you have something nice planned for tomorrow x :)