Ive been doing so well but Im struggling...

[mama2moo]

Dp left in February, I knew it was coming as I pushed him away. I have 2 dds.

I have been doing so well but the last few weeks have been tough. The girls are hard work, Im bored, im tired and all I think about is how bloody easy he has it. He only has to think of himself, he sees them 3 times a week and then pisses off back to his perfect life.

I am crying, stressed and snappy at the girls.

Any advice

Stop thinking about him Focus on what you want for you and your girls.

Disclaimer: - this is easier said then done but I used to feel like this but then realised I get to spend more time with my kids, I can factor in stuff like a long weekend with my friends, lunch with friends or swimming with the kids - stuff that makes life good and he isn't part of

Sounds as though you have a touch of the moody blues sweetie. You've been through a major life change just four months ago so no wonder you're down.

Personally, I think there's nothing like exercise for depression, is that part of your routine?

I agree with ifeellove, try and take the focus off him, his life is probably far less rosy than you might be imagining.

Take care of yourself xxx

Some weeks I feel like supermum, ds is amazing and I'm high on our combined brilliance! Some weeks I feel pathetic and like I want to crawl under a rock away from everyone. There are always good and bad times, it's the natural ebb and flow of life. Hope you feel better soon. X

He may be missing his children. He used to live with them fulltime and now you've split up (which is what you wanted, if I understand correctly) and he doesnt get to see them as much as you.
I wouldnt assume his life is "perfect".
Try and stay focussed on what is best for your children and for you. He may be utterly miserable.

Agree that whether or not he's happier now, or is getting the 'easy' end of the deal child-care-wise is/should be irrelevant to you.

Concentrate on making your life as full and happy as you always wanted it to be. If you 'pushed him away' it was because you weren't happy with him as things were, so now that you have a clean slate and you can start with your own rules to rebuild your life, make it count.

My H has moved out today, my life starts here. I know that he will have it easy - 5 days a week where he needs to think only of himself, but I'll get 5 days a week of interacting with my lovely, funny and affectionate if a little high maintenance DCs and then a couple of evenings to relax in peace or go out with friends.

I know there will be low times (the first night they're at his on Monday I already have plans so that I don't spend the night in tears!) but I'm sure that all of our lives will be improved by not living in a hostile argumentative environment, so I'm hanging onto that.

3 things I couldn't have managed without over the past few weeks - good friends, a bit of gentle exercise and MN! Keep posting and read about others' similar experiences to put it all in perspective.
xxx

Thanks all. Today has been better so fingers crossed I can pull myself out of this.

Hi Mama2moo, how are you today? Just checking in and reading my own advice as I'm struggling a bit today too! H came back for some stuff and it pissed me off that he was so chirpy and cheerful and the kids were all really excited about going to his house tomorrow. Grrrrr!

But it doesn't matter that HE's happy, does it. I need to concentrate on being happy myself without any regard for how he's getting on. In fact I'll log out and go and give my DCs a lovely cuddle before bedtime seeing as how I can and he can't ! x

Bachelormum that's very thought provoking. I'm looking forward to the part where you start to see a side of yourself that is totally honest with herself (or maybe I shouldn't be... I might be a bit too brutal!)

How do you move on when your ex is obviously so happy with his new life and you feel like you got the shitty end of the stick, even though you were the one who instigated the split? I feel so torn.

Thanks all. I have started exercising which is helping.

It is tough. The evenings are the worse. I love it when the girls go to sleep so that I get time to myself but am usually in bed by 9!