Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

How can he just walk away?

7 replies

happyhappymummy · 16/06/2012 08:28

My ex has stopped paying the mortgage. He doesnt pay any insurances either never has since the day he moved out. I cancelled my home insurance over a year ago cos I just couldnt afford it.
I now have a leak in my bathroom, and all the tiles are coming off the wall. I could cry.
How is this fair? How can they just walk away without a care in the world?
I have 3 sets of uniform to buy this year and my bank balance is £0.
I get £12 a week maintenance.
When my ex picks the kids up hes alway wearing new clothes. Driving around in a new car.
I dont want to sound depressing but I feel so lost today. Who do you talk to on days like this? Its raining and I have no money.Plans were a picnic in the park. Typical British weather!
Im sorry for being miserable!

OP posts:
OptimisticPessimist · 16/06/2012 08:39

Sorry things are going so badly for you just now :( it really is difficult when ex's behave like this, and you do end up tying yourself in knots over it.

On days like this I usually either phone my Mum once the kids are in bed and rant at her a lot Blush or talk to a very good friend via Skype. Is there someone close to you who'd be happy to listen to you rant?

As for today's plans, can you have a DVD day with a carpet picnic? I also use this site when I need some new ideas, I think they have a rainy day bit.

Hope things look up for you soon.

Original poster
happyhappymummy · 16/06/2012 08:51

Thanks for your reply Optimistic :) Im seriously not the type to let things get to me but sometimes everything piles up and you think what now.
I just cant believe how he can just turn his back. He isnt even seeing them sunday for fathers day because its not his weekend. He called round sat in the car for 5 minutes yesterday so the girls could give him a card and a present.
Yes I usually call my mum too but shes away this weekend.
Carpet picnic is a great idea actually. I will run that by them :)
Thanks I will look at that site also.

OP posts:
DoingItForMyself · 16/06/2012 09:02

So sorry you're feeling less than 'happy happy' but I can understand why Sad

Are you receiving all the money you're entitled to? My H is about to leave and (although he is being more than fair wrt to supporting us all) he was shocked to see how much I can claim, even in a mortgaged property. I work P/T but am still eligible for some Income Support.

As a last resort, would it help you to sell your current house and rent somewhere so that you can get some help from Housing Benefit? I know its not ideal, but if it keeps the wolf from the door, needs must.

The system is set up to help people like you whose Ex won't contribute, so that you no longer have to rely on him (not that he's much help anyway by the sound of it.) At lease then, his only involvement is with his DCs on visiting days and you can cut all other ties with him.

Meglet · 16/06/2012 09:16

Do you use the CSA? IME they are fine, no problems and the full amount of maintenance despite XP being a very nasty piece of work.

Sorry you are having to deal with his twattishness. I don't understand how men can just cut kids out of their life either. I've cut all ties with XP as he refused to see the children at a contact centre, I'm happy to be rid of him now.

Original poster
happyhappymummy · 16/06/2012 09:26

DoingItForYourself... Im sorry to hear about your split, hope all is ok :)
Yes i am. When he left we had debts. He took on the loan and I took on the credit card and catolgue. I am lucky and get the interest paid on my mortgage but the int only term is up and have to pay capital. I cant claim HB until Im declared homeless. The house is up for sale.
In the last year Iv had to pay out alot on different things. A long story short but I was paying out more in childcare than my wage. then my car was off the road. Its been quite a nightmare. I so want to cut all ties and not rely on him.
Meg.. Yes Iv been to csa. Im sorry to hear that. I dont understand either meg, I really dont. Glad you are happy though :)

OP posts:
redwhiteandblueeyedsusan · 16/06/2012 14:38

if the tiles are coming off, try to remove them and store them somewhere safely. they can then be put back on later and save you retiling completely.

where is the leak? and where are you? i could recommend a cheap plumbeer if you are nearish to me.

Original poster
happyhappymummy · 16/06/2012 23:59

red thankyou so much. I had already called one and hes pretty reasonable.
Thankyou so much for your concern.
Just want to say thankyou all for your kind support today. I made it through the day :)

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread