Hello all, I'm new and have a quandary. Recently there has been a lot in the news about 'a child's right to see its absent parent', with proposed enforcement action. Three and a half years ago I had my daughter, who was the result of a short lived relationship in which I was dumped on announcement of my pregnancy, almost forced to have an abortion by her father and treated horrendously by him throughout my pregnancy. When she was born, we tried very hard for almost three years for she and her father to form a loving, meaningful relationship (I say we, it was mostly myself). Unfortunately, he is a something of a serial philanderer, is extremely unreliable and would just drop her like a stone if a better offer came up (football, a new girlfriend, the opportunity to go out and get drunk etc). He also tried to introduce his new girlfriends to DD without feeling the need to introduce them to me first. His family were of some help initially, but over time their interest and patience has waned. They believe he will never change and it is best to just leave him to it. It is disappointing that they no longer seem interested in seeing their granddaughter/niece, leading me to the conclusion that the whole family are flaky to say the least. I am no longer a lone parent, as I met someone just over a year ago and we are in a happy, stable relationship. DD's father was never named on her birth certificate, for the reasons I stated above. He was young and immature (we both were), I did not trust him one iota, and could very much see him abusing his joint responsibility to make my life difficult. Needless to say he made my life difficult regardless. A part of me had wanted to name him once I had some sort of solid proof that he could be a regular part of my DD's life, however this proof never materialised. Every time it seemed as if we were making good progress, he'd let me and DD down, stop answering calls and texts, persistently turn up late or drop her home late, or just fail to show. I did secretly phone the registry office to enquire about having him named, but they simply said after a child's 1st birthday, no name can be added to the birth certificate, so the whole thing fell by the wayside. He didn't see her for the first six months of 2010, following an argument we had over Christmas and New Year arrangements, he just went AWOL. When he finally re-emerged, it turned out he'd suffered a series of health problems. I was sympathetic and agreed to try things again, at a slow pace. Things went fairly well for a year, I helped him out when he became temporarily homeless, we seemed to have developed an understanding. When he got a new girlfriend, instead of shunning her at the earliest opportunity as I might have done previously, I wanted to meet her and get to know her. She seemed keen to be a part of my DD's life, and we initially got on pretty well. Unfortunately, things started unraveling once again last September. The late pick up and drop off times, occasions where they didn't seem as though they were being completely honest about what had taken place when they had her, little things that nagged in the back of my mind. After awhile, he stopped talking to me again (I vaguely recall being told on a number of a occasions he was 'busy', but it was all very half hearted), and his girlfriend seemed to take it upon herself to be his spokesperson of sorts, it was as if I had to make all arrangements through her. This resulted in an argument and we all just stopped talking and pretty much just drifted apart. As it turned out his girlfriend is pregnant, which goes some way to explaining the sudden disappearance. However, I was tired of fighting a losing battle. I felt that I had a life to lead and a child to raise to the best of my ability without constantly pestering someone who wasn't 100% committed. I still suffer that guilt every day, that I have done wrong by DD, that everything is all my fault somehow, but the feeling that overwhelms that is that I do not want him to come back into her life again. I have expressed these wishes to his family, who seem disappointed but accepting. They've seen how hard I've tried. This was about seven months ago, and the first few months of DD no longer seeing her father were tough. She became clingy and insecure, constantly wanting me or my mother and no one else. Thankfully she seems to have regained her confidence now and is slowly building a relationship with my partner, who loves her dearly. It is hard as she is very aware he is not her father, and is sometimes stroppy or rude toward him, but we just have to keep telling ourselves that she is a strong willed three year old who knows her own mind and will make her own decisions. All children need stability, which DD never got around her father. She seems to like my partner, and his family, which is a plus point. Overall life is going well for us, but the bitter memories of DD's father still linger. I worry about if he would ever attempt legal action (unlikely considering his silence for seven months and counting, but not impossible). Would his argument hold up in family court? Would I be somehow penalized for making an informed decision regarding DD's best interests? My partner and I are engaged and are saving for a wedding. We want to move forward with ours and DD's life without the past hanging on. Apologies for the long post, I just wanted to put it out there in an unbiased forum. Thanks to anyone who could be bothered to read it :)