do I buy the ex a father's day present or not

[workshy]

ok I know I will because the DCs have asked what they are getting them but I'm just feeling ranty and strangely weepy about the whole thing

the ex was rubbish at presents when we were together, I would get stuff he wanted like music to his taste etc

since we have been appart (3 years) he hasn't sorted out a single present for the kids to give me, but because the kids asked then I have always got him a token present off the DCs

this year on mothers day my friend arranged a present for me off the DCs which was increddiblt kind and really brought home what a selfish arse he is so I wasn't going to get him anything this year

then at bedtime the DCs asked when we are going shopping to get him his gift -arrrggggghhhhhhhh!

I know I hold the moral high ground but I'm still pissed off

also makes me wonder if they ask their dad what they are getting me and he says nothing -should I give the same answer???

grrr

I let mine choose - DS usually buys something but DD is like "I'll get him something when he phones me..." Not gonna happen, but then she panics last minute and shoves in a hand written note saying"this is from me too!" I take DS to Primark and he buys something cheap cos he knows I don't have money. He bought his dad a muppets tshirt (how appropriate!! ) for his brothday and got a phoencall from his nan (exh mum) saying it was too small. Nice !! Could he not have just taken it back as I put gift receipt in and let DS feel good?!! aarrgggh!! Don't want my kids turning round in a few years and accusing me of anything to do with their dad so let them choose. Always have. EXH isn't happy as he likes chavvy names and brands and they go to £1 shops and primark. hey ho!!

Poundland...great shop for DCs to buy tat father's day themed stuff. I take the high ground (and weep with frustration and sadness0

I dont bother at all. Dont see why i should hes not my dad and hes not much of a dad to my child either. Some years if she can b bothered she will make him a card. This Xmas was weird coz child came thru with a gift for me from him. The first thing out my mouth was 'what is he sooking for'. My mum arranges bdays/xmases.
Id just persuade ur children that a handmade card would b more special. That way u dont need to b wasting ur money on him.

My ds is 10 - he wants to buy a present and isn't into making cards. Didf that when they were younger. Found their hand print mugs for him in the bin when they were tots so never bothered with anything meaningful after that.

I'm with foolonthehill in Poundland. A homemade card and a bit of tat, more than he deserves. I do however try to steer DS away from anything labelled "The Best Dad".

i'm in a quandry too. STBXH left 7 weeks ago but DD is only 2. I'm thinking to do a homemade card for him with a photo of her (hopefully he'll put it on the mantlepeice and OW will not like it!) but not bother with a present.

If he doesn't do anything for Mother's day next year then I won't ever bother again!

I lasted about 3 years helping the kids to buy presents for their dad and never getting anything on mothers day, birthedays, etc. I leave it to them now, They usually manage a card so that's all he gets. Shame because they enjoy giving presents, but was making me too cross for it all to be one way.

I buy a card (as cheap and plain as possible, no wonderful/best Dad sentiments), get them to write their names in and then post it. I do the same at Christmas and for his birthday. I don't do it for him (he certainly doesn't deserve it) I do it for them - so they have the opportunity to send something and so they learn about marking days that are important to close family. I really wrestled with the decision this year, but tbh if I didn't send it he would kick off or his wife would so it keeps the peace. He of course doesn't send or arrange anything for mother's day/my birthday/Christmas, but ho hum.

My ex is so ego centric he takes the kids shopping to buy him his presents. Fathers Day always comprises the biggest, tackiest 'best daddy in the world' medals/tat he can find. Makes me - kids have no choice in what 'they' buy him and I am fairly sure it's all done for the benefit of OW.

I got nothing on Mothers Day, despite getting a card when XP and I were together. It really set me back (it's now 12 mo since split). I am defo going to get DD to make her dad a card and draw a picture and put it in a cheapo frame.

Treat him how he is as a father (really stepped up since we split and is now pretty good to her), not how I think he is (a totally dishonest arse wipe).

nothing like the moral high ground I find. And you need to do it to do the right thing by your kids. It will make you feel better and the better parent. Show your kids what a wonderful mum you are. Besides, they will feel bad if they have nothing for daddy, no matter what an arse he is!

Annoyingly he sent me £30 by paypal on Mothering Sunday so I've had to bite my tongue and do a card for this year.
Having said that I arranged a bloody nice photo collage for him from DD for his birthday and I got bugger all for mine
DD's only 2 though so not old enough to tell him she wants to get me something.