What do you do in the evenings?

[KellyElly]

I'm a single mum and although I don't feel lonely in the sense I miss having a partner I do feel bored and fed up in the evenings sometimes. I do all the normal stuff - tidy up, housework, read, watch tv, bath, paint nails etc but some days it feels like groundhog day. Daytime is busy with work and my daugheter etc but come 7pm I'm nearly always alone (with the exception when I have friends round but that's once a week at the most and certainly not every week). I find myself going to bed at 9pm even if I'm not tired just because I can't face hours alone night after night.

I play World of Warcraft to save my sanity. Its not even so much about the game really more the company and conversation. Im in a guild that has a voice server so i always have somebody to chat to in the evening

I know how you feel. My boys are in bed by 7 usually and I eat if I haven't had dinner with them, wash up, tidy round, telly/radio/music/mumsnet/read until bedtime. Yawn! Sometimes I have a few glasses of wine and phone/text friends (a sad alternative to going out!). Somehow it feels worse in the summer when the evenings are lighter and longer.

ifeellove I do the same with a few glasses of wine and call friends but it can all too easily end up being the whole bottle for me (more out of boredom than a drink problem) :)

Sluttybuttons I have never really been into gaming. Maybe it's something to give some thought to to fill the evenings.

I wish I was motivated to try to set up a business or write (that's what I used to do back in my childless days) but I find after work, my daughter and house work etc I have no energy or motivation to do anything too creative or taxing on my mind or body. I keep looking at my exercise dvds as it isn't like I don't have the time just not the energy. Looking is as far as its got so far

Hey KellyElly :)
Yep another bored single mummy here.
Im sorry I dont have any ideas for you as you seem to of covered mine :) but maybe you should start to write, not every night but maybe just see if you could motivate yourself to one evening.
Do you have much family support or from the ex? I go to zumba a couple of times a week. This is great fun and it breaks up my week a little.
My girls are on hols this week with their dad. Its been the longest week ever. Iv been completely lost. Its not that easy to call up a friend as everybody has their own busy lives etc.
Hope you get some good ideas from here :)

I know how you feel!

My DD is with her Dad for a week, I went to bed last night at 9 as I'm pining for her so much, I feel empty

Once I've eaten, tidied up, made sarnies etc, I sit on my backside and watch crap telly!

MN, twitter and FB. And do a bit of tidying / organising.

I'm trying to do an OU course but the DC's are being terrors recently so I'm not eating until late and by 9:30ish my brain has turned to mush so I can't concentrate.

I know, I actually find boredom worse than loneliness! I do bits of housework, watch rubbish telly, eat crap food and come online. No chance for me to do any evening classes/activities. I do get very bored though.

this is the hardest part about lone-parenting that nobody really tells you about. It's when I feel really lonely. I have tons of things I can do, but I can't get the enthusiasm to do any of them.

The only answer for me (and not a great one, but it does help) is box sets. Anything that can stop you thinking and take you out of your own head can only be a good thing. Sounds desperately dull but it works for me...kind of!

How old is your child? I found it lonelier when mine was younger - he now has activities after school so a couple of nights are taken with that - I only pick up from school two nights so we tend to try and see friends go out for tea or plan something for those nights and then I am usually shattered from work or have extra work to do other days.
The internet is a god sent and the time is a chance for me to make plans for other days/nights.

Avenue my daughter is 2 and a half so probably is a bit worse at this age. Will be better when she's at school.

Happymummy my ex is good in that he looks after her a couple of days in the week while I'm at work as he is self employed but point blank refuses to babysit in the evenings so I could go to the gym or meet up with friends. All my family live up north. His family offer to babysit at weekends but they aren't so bad as we go and stay over with friends etc. Its the week day evenings that are just very lonely and boring. I think I need to sort out the feeling of being knackered before I can be creative so have decided to force myself to do some exercise dvds this week and hopefully get some energy :)

Thats a shame. My ex sees them for a couple of hours in the week and thats when I use that time to zumba. He would never babysit for me to do it. He will never babysit for me to work. I fit around him.
Yes try and do some dvd's as this will probably boost your energy I know zumba does for me :) and you always have us on MN through the week for company :)

Do you have any friends who are also single with a young child. Maybe you could organise that they come to you or vis versa and stay over. So they come over early eve, feed kids together, put them to sleep then you both have a few hours free together

forevergreek Unfortunately all my freinds are married with kids and we all work so they are at home weekday evenings like me but with their husbands/partners to keep them company

It will get easy as she gets older hun - my 2, you are fed up of it but it's starts to get better with a steep incline. Maybe join a book club? and then you can read the book in the week and have a social to go to each month? our book club meets at the houses with people with children so we don't need sitters as often.
Also they stay up a bit later when they are older so you can go out for tea more which breaks things up. Keep strong nothing lasts forever x

I'm lying in bed on mn, but I've also taking up quilting - yes, quilting - tis very therapeutic.

bucketbetty I thought about knitting. Also theraputic and apparently quite 'in' now

avenueone that's a really good idea as I love reading. I'll have a look in my area or maybe even start one!

Yay!! start one KellyElly - I cant believe all my friends that wanted to join - we have great fun x

Kelly, it's definitely in - my friend is starting up a craft club where we all sit round crafting and being all high brow in our conversations.