Grrr to Father's Day

[GsyAutumn]

Bit ranty, but FED UP of seeing father's day stuff everywhere. DS and DD's dad hasn't been in touch for 3.5 years now and we have no idea where he lives now. My dad was the most wonderful dad and grandpa but died really suddenly last year. So, they have no dad/grandpa (exH's family aren't in touch either) and I have no dad. Just feels like a really lonely and sad day ahead for me and the DCs. Every time I see an advert, or "special ideas" pages I feel so sad for me and them. Anyone else having father's day angst or have any ideas for doing something different?

I agree. I think we'll just have another Mothers' Day, seeing as how I do the job of both parents :)

That's a good plan :) I think I shall suggest this to them tonight

Now that sounds good My ex doesn't even want his DS on fathers day as he has to get up early the next day WTF!

Fathers day was no big deal when I was a kid so I don't bother with it unless the children ask me to help them in some way.

The school are making a big deal of fathers day this year sadly and my DC have had no contact with their father for 4 months and only rarely before then.

I am lucky though in that they have my dad and brothers to give/make stuff for.

I do think the idea of having another mothers day is good though. It's what I would do if it was not for my brothers/dad.

And for Mother's Day?

I am in a very female family - just me, my mum, DS and DD and my sister lives overseas. The kids still get a bit upset that their dad doesn't want/can't be bothered to make contact, and losing my dad last year was a real shock. I don't want the focus on father's day to make them (and me tbh) more sad. I imagine it is exactly the same for single fathers on mother's day. Good old consumerist society creating more opportunities to be a bit meh. Still, I like the idea of celebrating parenthood twice instead of trying to avoid a particular day.

I understand the rant and I am sad their dad does not want contact. It is very unusual the other way round, but it does happen. My two children do not even get a birthday/Christmas card from their mum. We tend to ignore Mother's Day, though it seems to be even more hyped than Father's Day.

Not sure there is an answer. I like the idea of celebrating mothers and fathers once a year though I could do without the commercial side of it and the pressure to buy stuff, which most parents do not value as much as a little appreciation and a hug.

...and as my mother is no longer with us, Mother's Day is rather empty for us. But I still think there are plenty of mothers to appreciate out there...

Instead of Fathers day or another Mothers day how about changing it to a Family Day.

It might seem like you do that all the time but a day maybe with no phones, no friends, no computers, no distractions and good old fashioned family time. Perhaps a special trip that everyone can help plan if finances allow zoo, beach etc or each family member chooses something they would like to do and you do it together; maybe one person chooses a film to watch, maybe another chooses they want to make cookies or a cake and maybe someone else choses something special to make for dinner and you all do it together. It might take a little planning but Im sure it would be worth it and by keeping busy might prevent all your minds wandering on to more upsetting thoughts.

agreed. I lost my dad 8 days ago and fathers day being so close to his death is going to be tough. I was doing ok for a short while earlier, only to log on to mumsnet to be confronted with fathers day stuff, cue yet more tears. Its no-ones fault, its just going to be a very sad day for me as its so soon after losing him :(

Shabba - so sorry to hear you lost your dad so recently. The logging on to mumsnet to be confronted with the father's day things made me well up too, and it is 14 months since I lost dad. Last year I went and sat at one of his favourite places with the children and we just spent some special time thinking about him.

Jeff - I agree that there are lots of mothers and fathers out there to be appreciated, just makes certain days more empty for those of us in certain circumstances. Still have no idea why their dad doesn't want contact - no cards at christmas/birthdays either.

This year, I think we will just find time to be a family together, the three of us, and take turns to choose an activity. I like the idea of cooking dinner together! Thanks for the tips Single

Singleandproud - thats a brilliant idea. Family day.