exp refusing to collect DS from DP house

[Happylander]

My exp is refusing to pick up DS from DP house despite it being no different in miles and is in fact quicker to get to than mine or my mums. His reasons are it is further...proved to him it is not as is actually quicker to get to and then he said it is further from nearest big town than mine or my mums. I yet again proved to him that it is the same. I feel he is trying to control where I spend my weekends by doing this and just being very difficult again.

So far he has tried to use the excuse that he is duty to not see DS on Sunday and he wanted him Saturday but we already have plans for a lovely day out with friends so I said no. Then duty went to an event and when he realised I was not going to back down (he requested Sundays and specific dates when he took me to court and so I have worked my life around his dates) he said he will only have him if he can pick him up from mine or my mums house and not DP! That he will not back down on this. WTF!!!!

I am getting bored of all the shit that comes with having a child with a twat. Still helped DS 2.5 make him a fathers day card and birthday card though. GRRR!

Just really wanted a rant I suppose..

Actions speak louder than words, he really doesn't seem that interested...

If you have a court order you can have it enforced. Happylander, you will need to call in reinforcements if you want your ex to toe the line here. There is no point having a court order if you are not prepared to make the courts enforce it when the other party is thumbing his nose at it. If you really want contact, then you are going to have to make this effort. I personally think you are going to end up driven demented by this struggle if that is the route you choose. You will also be sent around the bend by trying to make him do it yourself.

I would also make the effort to find an alternative babysitter even if this involves paying one. Asking this man for any sort of favour, even to do with his own child, is just setting yourself up for an ulcer. Your aim needs to be less and less contact and mutual dependence, not the same or more. You need to get him as completely out of your life as you possibly can.

WRT stopping contact -- since the exH isn't interested in seeing his DS but rather is using the visitation arrangement as a means of interfering in Happylander's life and controlling her, I would strongly urge her to get the courts involved again so that a judge can decide the level of interest this man really has in seeing his DS, and I would be open if I were her to the possibility that stopping the visitation is the best option. There is a small child bang in the middle of all this and the fighting is not good for him, nor is it good for him to get the impression that his father is being dragged kicking and screaming to see him.

'because I just can't believe he would not want to spend time with him..'

Believe it.
Get it into your head.
He only wants to use the DS to get at you.
Stop handing yourself to him on a plate to mess with.

He still refused to come and see him even though I offered to drive into the city he wanted to take him to.

If this happens a few more times then I think going back to court will be the only option as I can't keep having my plans ruined like this and also having my DS expecting to see him.

Keep a record.

Go to court. Decide what you want from the court. Do not tell the court you are there because your plans are constantly being upset. The court doesn't care about you and your plans. It cares about your child's welfare, both physical and emotional. It may be far better for the DS to have no contact days and therefore no wrenching disappointment when contact is refused at the last moment, but maybe to keep up via skype, etc as he grows older. This is about the child and his best interests.