Should i let dd send her dad a fathers day card?

[Emmielu]

Last time he saw her she was 2 weeks old. (Shes now 5) Shes never really mentioned him until recently & i have told him that she has been asking about him. Although we get on well, hes not sent her birthday cards etc & he does plan on starting to build a relationship with dd end of this month when dd & i have moved. Its a bit difficult to start a relationship with him & dd right now because i live with my parents & they hate him. It wouldnt be fair on dd & it wouldnt be the right way to start such a big thing. So i figured when dd & i have moved it'll be easier.

Anyway, whenever dd hears or sees the moonpig advert or any other advert that mentions fathers day she asks "can i send my dad a fathers day card?" or "can i make him one to send?" I dont know what to say. I dont have an address for him but i could easily ask for one but i dont know if its a good idea to. I dont see a problem with it but then again i dont know if it is.

If he wanted to have contact then the fact that you live at your parents wouldn't have precluded that. Nothing to stop him sending birthday cards etc but it seems he has done nothing and used your parents as his excuse.

Ds has been asking about his father since he was 2.5. Detailed questions. At nearly 8 he is acutely aware that he is different from every other child he knows. I answer his questions in very general terms as I don't think it would help him to have an image of his father, although that doesn't stop him making up what his father does, how he is etc. His father has no interest whatsoever in having any contact with ds. When ds is an adult he will be free to seek his father out if he still wants to. By then he will be old enough to deal with the reality of his father and what an utterly dreadful person he is. At 8 he is way too young for that. All I do in the meantime is ensure I never say anything negative about him, however tempting it is.

This time of year is always hard as they make father's day cards at nursery/school etc and ds was born on father's day so it is yearly reminder too.