Anyone around with a shoulder?

[zonedout]

So exh moved out in March. All perfectly amicable and we agreed that, for now, we would share weekends but that our two ds's (aged 6 & 3) wouldn't stay at his until they were both ready which ds2 had not been. Ex had also been coming to ours for bath time once or twice a week etc. Today he had them and I went up to his flat at around 4pm to bring them home with me as usual. However they both told me they had decided they wanted to stay the night tonight. Of course, it was what they wanted and I agreed. Now I am home alone (aside from my lovely and very ancient dog who seems unwell tonight) feeling somewhat bereft and very very sad and lonely. Aside from rather plentiful hospital visits with ds2 (and a night in hospital for tonsillectomy with ds1) I have never spent the night apart from my boys and had wanted it to be planned in advance so that I could see a friend (I rarely get to go out at night due to cost of babysitters etc) Of course it was too last minute to make any arrangements and my couple of closest friends are both away so no one to even cry to on the phone as I don't want to disturb them

Just wanted to get that out and perhaps hear that it might get easier one day

Thank you Body, that's extremely nice of you. The boys are back with me and fast asleep and all is well. Have just watched the Jubilee concert with a bottle of red and am feeling good. I know that these are still very early days and there is a very long and, no doubt, difficult road to navigate ahead. Both boys had a great time and want to stay at their dad's again as soon as possible. I am truly happy that they had a great time and I know, with my underused sensible head on, that I will need the break the sleepover will provide me but I can't help feeling slightly terrified at the prospect.

Still, one day at a time and breathe. My new mottos

Childofisis, good luck with the date keep is posted, of you can.

Thanks again to all who were kind enough to post on this thread. You all really helped to get me through last night.

Hey zonedout, I came back to see if you'd written back but nothing showed up on 'threads I'm on' as it had been more than 3 days! Changed my settings now. I am glad you've been feeling more positive. The early days are so hard, but after a while, when you've managed to think ahead and plan what you'll do when your children are away, it gets easier as you manage to fit in things you otherwise can't do as a single parent... and as time goes by, you will appreciate the break you get (just as you say, you do need that break) and it won't be so heartbreaking, it will all just become part of the routine.

And of course, no matter the circumstances that led to the breakdown of your relationship, your kids need their father and it is a very good thing that you are facilitating his involvement in their lives. I say that with my righteous face on because my relationship broke down in horrible circumstances and it was always extremely difficult to accept that my former partner would always be part of our lives, but it really is best to stay civil and keep the contact (overnight or not) consistent and part of the 'normal' routine.

You sound lovely, you really do. I'll be thinking of you.

Thanks a million BodyUnknown for your incredibly lovely, supportive and kind words. I am lucky in that nothing too awful (as far as i'm aware... I do have the odd suspicion but refuse to go down that road at the moment) happened between my ex and i and i am so sorry to hear that you were faced with much more difficult circumstances. You have my full respect and admiration, it must be incredibly hard to carry and nigh on impossible to remain civil and maintain contact for your children.

The boys are with their dad today and I have had a lovely day... Long walk with my dog this morning then I took myself off to the cinema. Now back home making roast chicken and flapjacks for their return

They are due to spend next Saturday with the ex plus a sleepover so we'll see how that one goes. Must try to find something to do, rather than sit at home and cry into my wine glass