mum to 11 week old twins just found out husband cheated on me

[elle180]

Just found out yesterday that he cheated on me with his 25 year old assistant (dh and I are 41 !). I can't trust him as he lied and I had to bluff that I had proof for him to admit it after fiercely denying it for months. He cheated on me 3 weeks before they were born then 6 weeks after with the same girl.
I can't believe its happening to me and I don't want my kids to suffer from his actions or my reactions. What the am I going to do ?

crap
Um Elle, you have two beautiful (twin) babies who are only a few months old. I think you need to think about you and babies right now, and take your time to decide whether cheating toe-rag has any right to any of your headspace.
You dont have to decide in a hurry, but so dont let him near your other regions.
It is difficult to understand a man who thinks it is ok to cheat on his DW who is about to give birth, or has just given birth, to his babies. He sounds incredibly self centred and inconsiderate. Just want you want in a father to your children (not). Whatever you decide, remember that, your twins will grow up to be beautiful and you are stronger than you realise. Kudos- Pretty impressive to carry twins really, double the building being done than a normal preggers.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, I know it feels like being trapped in a situation you don't want to be in because you want the best for your kids, a whole family and for them to grow up with both their parents in the same house.
It's a difficult question and you are probably destroyed by the painful emotions, images and questions. First you have to let it sink in and really aceept that it happened, after some time it will be easier to think clearly and try to look at the what went wrong that led to this awful crisis. But you have to remember that in no way is this your fault. With time you will see if he trully regrets what he did, how much does he really want to solve this and what kind of help you need to get to get over this. I wouldn't advise you to do this alone, I have a bad experience with that, I hope you learn from my misktake.
Hang in there.

I'm afraid I don't have any words of wisdom. I just wanted to give you a virtual hug. There are no words really are there, I can imagine you just feel full of pain but lots of love for your beautiful babies.

I truly feel gutted for you!
I too speechless...try posting on relationships thread too for more traffic replies.

Your ONLY priority right now is those two gorg babies.

My ex did similar and left when I was 7 months pregnant so I'm trying to give you the benefit of my own hard won lessons from a similar experience.

No woman is ever as vulnerable as she is in late pregnancy and while her babies are so tiny. However we don't stay vulnerable for long . Mama Bear will come out quicker than you think & you'll fight for your children to have the best possible future you can acheive for them, whatever he chooses to do

It takes time to properly think through all the practical implications of staying together versus splitting & right now your babies need the bulk of your emotional & physical energy.

Do not under any circumstances let him push, hassle, or cajole you into anything until you are 100% ready. Right now you need time and space to recover from such a devasting shock and betrayal. Let him sleep in a spare room or on the sofa while you tend to your babies for now.

Only after a good 6 months or so should you make any clear confirmed choices for the future. Once you do make YOUR choice (he's lost any entitlement to a say on whether he should stay or go) should you make your move. Follow through.

One of my reasons for my advice is that I had to return to full-time work when my son was 6 weeks. I still bitterly resent that I couldn't enjoy a nice long maternity break with my baby nearly 8 years on. Let him cover the bills while you enjoy your tiny ones - it's the least he owes you even if you do eventually split