XP has always been flaky wrt DD.
Just a little background. He has no stable home life, his family don't bother with him ever and he flits from g/f to g/f. He meets a girl, moves in within days/weeks, lies, steals from her and her DC, then moves onto the next one to ensure he has a roof over his head. He has never held a job down for more than a few weeks, and consequently has paid v v v little maintenance for all of DD's life.
A cocklodger if ever there was one.
Because of this, he doesn't tend to have long term relationships, they never last longer than a year at most, at which point he never speaks to them or sees them again regardless of any bond he may or probably didn't build up with g/f's DC.
Of course, he only goes for women who think he is a poor misunderstood victim, and by the time they realise I am not the nasty vile bitch he tells them I am, they have been burnt by him.
During DD's life, he has stolen from her, abducted her, threatened to abduct her, threatened to drop her in front of me to get a reaction out of me, has left her sitting in the middle of my lounge surrounded by the contents of my huge cupboard because I was not giving him 100% of my attention. I was actually stood inside my cupboard and DD was 10 months old at the time.
He has also put DD and myself through numerous too numerous to count false allegations with SS with the intention of getting DD to live with him and his then g/f. DD had to have numerous assessments and examinations because of these allegations. All were found to be unsubstantiated, yet he continued and continued with every small scratch or bruise until he split from that g/f.
During DD's life, he has never ever looked after DD alone, ever!
He has left the main childcare to someone else, usually his g/f's.
During all of this time, I have bent over backwards to facilitate contact. On 4 occasions, I have asked him for help with DD.
3 of those were to ask him to pick DD up because I was not well. On one of those occasions, I actually passed out while DD was running around in my house. Came round after a minute or two, phoned XP, explained the situation and said I still felt shaky and had no idea why I had passed out, and his response was No, I wont pick DD up because you didn't let me change last contact day from Saturday to Sunday like I wanted to, so I'm not helping.
The other time was when I asked him if he could let DD have a pair of shoes he had bought for DD because she had outgrown her shoes and I had no money to buy her more. Again, his answer was No, if you can't cope on what the govt give you for DD, then give her to me, and give up residency. XP has been unsuccessfully trying to get DD taken away from me via allegations to SS for a couple of years, and when that didn't work has been trying to get me to agree to hand DD over to him permanently since DD was 6 mnths old, because imo he knows this is the only way he can truly hurt me.
Last year, he got himself another new g/f and moved in with her and her DC. This is the 5th g/f in 3 years he has lived with, and if he introduces DD to her, will be the 3rd g/f DD has been looked after and bonded with in 3 years. XP completely ignored DD and stonewalled her completely when he was with the other 2 g/f's.
Since he has met this new g/f, he has been seeing DD, with me present, mainly because he chose to have contact with me present probably to try to remind me what a wonderful man he is ha ha
Over the last 2 weeks, XP and I have fallen out again, mainly because I asked him to perhaps take DD out on his own for the day because I was struggling with feeling unwell, DD has some challenging behaviour, and a few other things were going on, which I don't want to go into here.
XP again refused to help, even though he was not working at the time. He later rang and offered to take DD for 2 weeks 
because clearly I could not cope with being a mum which I declined. He then missed 2 arranged days to come and see DD because he was so pissed off that I refused to send DD to him for 2 weeks, to be looked after by his g/f who neither DD nor I have ever met, and never spoken to, because XP would be continuing to work long hours, and his g/f was clearly better equipped to look after DD and was happy to look after her for 2 weeks without even speaking to me first.
Obviously I am firmly back in the camp of rubbish mother who is not capable of looking after a goldfish, let alone a child.
However, now he has rung me, 2 weeks later, firstly to insult me, which I am so tired of, I just agreed with the insults in a I probably am kind of response. Then he tells me he wants to pick DD up next week and take her off for the day. I asked him if it was to meet his new g/f and he categorically said NO. I don't believe him at all. He has previously said to me that his g/f wants to meet DD, and his g/f's family think I am precious for not being over the moon about it, and apparently XP said after they had been together 6 months, he would introduce her to DD.
Now I know the law...I know that I have no legal right to know where he takes her and who with, or who to see, but I also know how devastated DD was when his 2nd relationship broke down, and how DD still mentions his 2nd g/f and misses her and wants to see her. That was the last g/f DD met and spent time with. XP has completely ignored DD whilst he has been in every other relationship.
I am sick of DD being hurt. XP has also told me he has absolutely no intention of staying with this g/f, and I don't want DD passed around to a strange woman who I have never laid eyes on, have never even spoken to, and don't know anything about apart from her first name. XP wants to keep it that way.
XP has gone months and months without seeing DD before, so why the urgency to introduce her to yet another g/f who he wont be with by the end of the year??
AIBU to want to tell him to fuck off down a dark dark hole and disappear forever?? I probably am
Has anyone been there and done this?? Co parented with an XP who frankly doesn't care and just uses his DC to get what he wants, at any cost to his DC?