Ecstatic cos I've passed my PGDE and am now a teacher but EXH now 'without work and not claiming benefits' aaargggh!

[makemineapinot]

need some help - absolutely delighted I amde it through my post grad teacher training with 2 kids, a problematic EX who lives 400 miles away and doesn't speak to the dc, and a part time evening job... so just when things are foing well, he jacks his professional and well paid job in to sptop paying me. He works in construction (he was a regional manager) so I KNOW he will be doing cash in hand work as there is NO way he can be living on nothing. His GF works but doesn't earn loads and they have to have a luxurious lifestyle. CSA and Inland revenue promise to help if I can find out who he's working for ... but how he hell do I find that out? I ahve to get through the summer from next week til August with no money as last student loan payment was at the start of this month, CSA were ust like "oh, you'll just have to manage, cut back a bit..." - like we're living the life of reilly! Anyway wanted to rant and most of you probably don't remeber me as I have been so busy/exhausted/etc etc over the last 9 months I've hardly been on here . Thanks for any help x

Congratulations & sorry I can't help with advise , so bumping you up so others who can hopefully will spot this :)

advice [rollseyes]

do you have job lined up? if so talk to bank and get an extensive overdraft sorted.
increase hours at evening job.

I sympathise because my ex purposely left his job back in Feb after the CSA caught up with him and issued a DEO to his employer. I'm supposed to be getting a princely £2.50 per week but currently get jack shit. I'm actually worse off than I was before the DEO was issued as I used to get £3.12 per week.

What really fucks me off annoys me about the CSA is the way that you have to do everything - provide all the information about the ex, tell them his address, where he works etc. I had to do the same and give them chapter and verse on my ex and look where it got me. They should be doing all that, ffs.

Congrats on your qualification btw. Do you have a teaching job lined up?

What kind of woman would want to be with a man who does not support his children? Does she know he's done this? If I had a partner who deliberately orchestrated a way of not paying for his family I would be off - low-life!

Could you ask her if she knows where he's working? Are you on speaking terms?Do you have anything with his bank details on it - a cheque? could you ask for a cheque so you have his account number? then give that to CSA. I would also speak to Tax Office as he is obviously avoiding tax too!

Also speak to DWP to see if you can get some sort of loan from them - or speak to Citizens Advice to see what they suggest.

Well done on getting your qualification btw

Get a mumsnetter to follow him from home in the morning and see where it is.

if it's driving distance of Hertfordshire I'll do it

Or do it yourself in a wig

He's Northants and have asked some friends to see what they can do!! His aprtner is a complete psycho and was the main reason behind us having to move 400 miles away - she was dangerously bad for my DC and they hate her. She would love it if I phoned for advice - some of her memrable moments ahve been when she phoned the kids school to cancel their places and remove them from the school - impersonating me and threatening to take Head to court. She also told dd (5) my ex would kill me with a sword and other such delights... She stalked me for years - after he left!

Worse thing is I've already resigned form my p/t job as it goes to daytime hours over the summer and the cost of childcare is more than I earn , can't increase hours and as I only work 8 hours don't qualify for help!

If I asl him for a cheque he'll ignore me - he ignores my dcs letters, calls etc and refuses to speak to them - didn't open his door to them last summer as they stood on his doorstep after travelling 400 miles . twat!

yes I do have a job - in Scotland you get given one for nqt year so will be earning in August - not loads but some!!

Hi Pinot congrats on the PGDE. I don't know if you remember me from the thread-before-we-all-plunged-into-the-living-hell-of-non-stop-work that is teacher training!!

So pleased you got through and what a great system that your NQT year is sorted in Scotland too. Well done.

Sorry your X is being such a shit.

Oooh, just noticed you live in Scotland.... so I'm not sure whether my advice is true over the border. As soon as your course ends (get the education office at the uni to write a letter confirming end date) you can sign on to JSA or IS (depending on how old dc's are). If you're renting, then Housing Benefit as well.

Well done on finishing your course! That's fab that in Scotland they get you somewhere for your NQT year, I'm about to start mine in September soooo scary!

Hi all im a new seperated/split parent with care wot eva the pc term im supposed to b, hi there makemineapinot im sorry to read ur news this country is a disgrace ... but without going on my situ sounds similar to yours and i would happily shop anyone for shirking there responsibilities.. so if we can all help each other out there must b a way... as a parent who knows what it is like to scrimp and save and get nowhere fast with nothing i would like to help if i can so ill let you know i live in northantsits up to you if u wish to take this info any further but congrats again and sorry ur x is an ass and the gf a wierdo best off out of there hey ?

Congratulations, well done you on your success.

Solicitors monitor facebook so if he's telling you one thing but ex or his gf showing off to their mates on facebook, it can be used as evidence in court. One person I know had ex husband's assets frozen (only financial ones, sadly )because of what was being posted. Bet the same is true of twitter.

Worth a thought?