exh and new partner

[sarahseashell]

my exh just told me he's seeing someone. Feel a bit that I felt a bit sad about this - it's been a few years now and so no great surprise. It's not like I want him back (initially he left for OW but that fizzled out) just feel a bit sad really, bit lonely and surrounded by couples and a bit sad for the dcs

Sorry your feeling sad today sarahseashell :(
No great advice Im afraid but just wanted you to know your not alone. I get days like this too. Its hard knowing they are moving on.
I also feel sad for my DC too at times. They still have you both though. I know how you feel.

aww thanks happyhappymummy I really appreciate you replying I always feel better for sharing on here, it's good to know other people get it.
I feel like someone else is going to get the life we should have had

Yes it does help to chat on here! Glad Iv made you feel slightly better :)
Oh you do sound like me. Its so hard I know.
Someone said to me the other day I probably get down as Im not quite where I want to be just yet and he has just plodded along with his life and not looked back. I think they were right.
I do feel like I crave that family for the sake of my DC but Im punishing myself as I cant ever get that back. I try so hard to look into the future and stay positive.

yep I feel like that too we could be twins glad it's not just me.
he's got the career, time to be dating, happy coupledom and all that.
but I get to see the dcs more of the time and I wouldn't change that for the world so I do try to focus on that. Much harder for us though to scramble out of that pit and get where we want to be because we are primarily being parent and not just thinking of ourselves

I know its hard sometimes!
Keep your chin up and stay strong :)
We will get there!!

Sarah, think of the positives to being single. There are hundreds of them.
It is hard when they see someone new. For me the biggest thing was that I knew her and disliked her already due to other reasons. And I hated that instead of the boys seeing their dad for the weekend they now had to share their time with him with her.
But the being single part I love :-)

I fully understand how you feel OP, it's not that I wanted my exH back I just felt sad for my children and I really didn't want my youngest to not want to be with me because I wasnt a 'family'. I work full time and my weekends are filled with housework, food shopping etc and I don't have the money for luxeries ( not very glamorous ) but daddy can do all the great fun things and create the illusion of 'family'. I'm very happy being single but for a few weeks after I found out he had met someone I had an incredible urge to be in a relationship ( I know that's crazy ). Give yourself time to sort your feelings out and eventually you'll be grateful that someone was stupid enough to take him off your hands xx

I should add we have 3 children but there is a 10 year gap between the elder 2 and the youngest. My older children have nothing to do with him and there is only a 5 year age gap between our daughter and his new girlfriend. Needless to say our daughter was spitting feathers

thankyou so much for all the replies, it really makes a difference
happyhappymummy absolutely we just have to hang in there!

smokinaces you made me laugh you're right there are many positives to being single and it does help to think about them

victoria you have really articulated how I feel and it's helped me a lot because I have had those very thoughts about wanting to now be in a relationship myself! I was feeling happy about being single before the news so it's very comforting to know that'll return.
your poor dd that must've been hard for you all the ex getting together with someone so unsuitable young. You're right I will in time be happy to leave them to it I should think