Have namechanged for this :
My ex and I have an ok relationship, hes not a bad guy, but we arent alike in some ways that frustrate me! ( my issue, so I bite my tongue and be thankful hes involved with dd) He pays on time every month, and sees her a few times a year. (Which suits all round)
However, CSA worked out the amount he pays about 9 years ago and we mutally agreed a smaller amount (by £40)privately with the agreement he would be paying off debts. Its only gone up once since (by a tenner, about 4 months ago - his decision. I had been planning to ask, but he acted first)
Going by csa calculation of 15%, hes only paying 2/3rds of what he should.
Heres my dilema...
He is in debt - around the £10k mark (despite agreeing to lower maintenence, the figure is higher than it used to be). His earnings are about £20k. He is apparently always broke (though he admits hes crap with money - if he has it, he spends it and has told me about a rather expensive weekend of entertainment coming up)
I spend very carefully, have no debt, worked hard to build quite significant savings (more than his debt), but currently have a lowish income - about £13k (but changing job later this year - hopefully)
So, should I ask for an increase? Its money that would mostly go to dds savings (50% of maintanence already does) but maybe allow for a little extra breathing room while still allowing me to build up my main savings so I can provide a secure future for her.
It goes to the bars and video game stores and goodness knows where else, if he keeps it.
My friend used to work for the CSA and gets really annoyed with me for not pushing to get every penny (they dealt with some pretty crafty NRP in their time) but I dont think ex-p is like that. I want to be fair. He may get more in debt if I demand more. BUt I think hes heading that way anyway, and maybe I should be getting some for DD before it all disappears every month?!
And its obv he needs help with finances - Ive gently, and sometimes not so gently, done all I can for the last 10 years to help him work budgets etc. Hes (self- confessed) too lazy.