Indirect contact

[popsonnowanthen]

Hello,this is my first post.I just wondered if any other single parents have been in the same situation &what i can do?Ex has been awarded indirect contact-a letter a month for 6months.Daughter is 7-she doesn't want to reply.Does this have an effect on the judges opinion of me?
I dont want to make her&i want to respect her decision but i also don't want to be seen as bitter.I've bought her nice paper etc to reply but she's adament.She reads the letter once then puts it away.Ive rescued the first 2from the bin and told her not to keep throwing them away.
Any advice?

you cant force her to write a reply can you?
indirect contact is from him to her right?

just keep the letters in a box.

I know this might sound odd but get her to sign them so you can show she has read them but just hasn't wanted to reply.

Does she not want to reply because she doesn't want anything to do with her dad? Or does she just not much like writing? If the latter - could she draw him a picture instead? Or dictate a letter for you to write down?

But I'm pretty sure indirect contact is about his right to have his letters passed on to her and the invitation to write back if she wants - not a duty on her part to do so. Maybe just let your ex know that you are passing them on, and will let her write back if/when she wants to.

At that age they really don't want to write letters, to their parents or any one else.

Instead of putting pressure on her, ask her to select something she has done in school, like a drawing or collage, to send to her dad. This could keep the communication open, serve as an acknowledgement of receipt of the father letters, and also, prevent him claiming to court that the letters are not reaching his DD. The key is "no pressure on the child", too much pressure and they can become very vocal about not wanting to have contact with the absent parent.

Thanks for the replys.She's finding it hard to understand things.Shes a smart cookie and says things like "he's never sent me a birthday card before"etc &i think really she's quite resentful.She doesnt really want anything to do with him and the contents of his letters just talk about his "new family"and i think are quite insensitive to be honest.