dd overheard ex and discovered his affair

[mamas12]

As the title says, she had suspected that he had an affair while still being married to me, but this time she overheard him shouting over the phone to this woman because she wanted to end it after so many years.
So confirmation has hit her hard.
She has not slept for three nights, I thought there was something physically wrong with her because there were a few things going on but, obviously this didn't help did it.

I have only just found this information out.

She doesn't know I know, I don't know how to bring it up without betraying a confidence and I don't know what to say to her.
I am over this information but it seem to me that she has just been transported back five years at the time of the split and is just going though it now.
So sad for my dd.

That's so sad, your poor DD. How did you find this out? Can you get your source to encourage DD to talk to you about it so you can help her? If he/she makes it clear that DD won't be telling you anything you don't already know, it may help her to open up. How old is she?

So Sad for your dd too mamas
Just be there for her, be her rock - she will get over it eventually. X

You have to talk to her. It doesn't matter how you know she knows - this is a time when betraying confidences mean nothing. She needs support and reassurance and well, her mum.

When my older DCs learnt their Dad had had a fling, I made a big deal about how while he was a shit husband, he's always been a good father - and that was (and is) true. Would that approach help? She needs to separate what he did to you with how he is with her.

Aww. Poor thing. Sounds as though she's just finding out who her father really is - that would be so hard.

Thanks for the posts.
I found out from the mother of her friend she confided in.
I really don't know how to bring it up yet but I think her friend has persuaded her not to tell her brother until after exams, they are both going through some exams atm.
But I know her friend has also said she should confront ex.
Hmm don't know if that will resolve anything tbh
The ow, so to speak, is still married btw and ex regularly took them round their house to visit.
I wish I/we could be honest about this grrrr after all these years still causing pain!