Ex forbidding DD to bring belongings between homes

[PlainClothed]

DD (11) has a 50:50 between her Dad and I - one week at each house.

As she has got older, exH has bought DD a lot of the latest gadgets - 18 months ago, he bought her a iPod and told me that she wouldn't need to bring it with her when she visited because she already had an MP3 player that I had bought her for her birthday, so the iPod was to use at his house. (at no point did I ever tell DD she could'nt take her MP3 player to her Dads, BTW)

A few weeks ago, DD asked why DSS was allowed his iPod here but she wasn't, and I explained that if she wanted to bring her iPod then that was fine with me. So she began to bring it with her.

DD has just arrived and she has told me that her Dad has bought her a laptop computer yesterday, and when he gave it to her he said that "all he asked was that she never brings it here". It's not a birthday present or anything; he's always been a spontaneous spender. It may be a coincidence, but this gift coincides with DD spending an extra few days with me so she can get to school easier for her SATS. It's a one off, and she spent an extra week with him in the Easter hols, so it's not like I'm trying to keep her from him.

I know he is being an arse, it is latest in a long history of idiocy on his part - but is there anything that I can practically I can do for DD to make this easier for her, or do I just accept that one day soon DD will work out that he is a arse for herself

It's an issue for her to raise with her Dad , you can't smooth the way all the time. What other children live with you? Just mentioning DSS makes me think Dad doesn't want him to use it perhaps? I think it only becomes an issue if you make it one - just get her a memory stick so she can swap her homework & treat the laptop as a PC that is in her Dad's house.

Just mentioning DSS makes me think Dad doesn't want him to use it perhaps?

You might have a point there, actually - there was a situation a while go when she had been told by her Dad to inventory her DVD's on the shelf at our house (ones she had been given as gifts or bought with her own pocket money), as he wanted to buy her duplicate copies which she wouldn't have to share with DSS

As it happens, DD and DSS share very nicely, always ask permission and they are both extremely respectful of each others space and belongings; but I suppose as DD is an only child, the thought that she has to share when with us might be difficult for her Dad to deal with.

Unfortunately, there is no chance of even broaching subjects like this with him - our co-parenting relationship is non-existent. As DD gets older, I'm sure that will cause her more of a problem, and give her something to take advantage of!