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I feel like...why even bother?

9 replies

theunhappiestbunny · 12/05/2012 21:03

Ds is 14 and i've been increasingly concerned for him the last two years or so. His attitude stinks. He's awful to dd and treats me like dirt. To cut a long story short, he's lonely. He grew up here and had lots of friends he played with/hung around with in the street until a family moved in with kids from hell. They were awful to him, turned his friends against him, gave us abuse generally. Ds was the eldest and also got blamed for things he hadn't done by other kids and parents. The result was that I backed off from certain neighbours i'd previously thought were friends and ds just stopped going out.

He's become more and more withdrawn. I've tried to find him some activities to do but there is literally nothing in our area. He comes home from school, sits in his dark room on the laptop and wont respond to me when I call him. He is obsessed with role playing games to the point where I found out after i'd gone to bed he was pretending to be asleep, going downstairs and switching it all back on. He has been up until 4am apparently talking to his american "friends" online. I've taken away his laptop and phone before now and all i've gotten is abuse from him.

I've been at my wits end with him for a long time now. His grades are suffering at school, i've tried to get help from the school and I get nowhere time and time again.

I called his dad the other day about something unrelated and was shocked to be told I "need to do something about that kid". Apparently his dad is very concerned, he has been told by his partner that ds is posting inappropriate things on this role play chat and she's not impressed. He wouldn't tell me what these things were exactly, and did say that his partner has asked him not to say anything about it. I said that I should be told, because how else am I to know? When I walk into his room he shuts the laptop or the window he's using. He then suggests that ds "stay with him for a while" and i'm fuming.

I'm fuming because for the last 13 years, his dad has messed him about, had contact/not had contact. He's been to one school play, never a parents evening, never even been to his secondary school. Didn't take any interest in which secondary he went to, showed no interest when I told him I was appealing to get him into a better school. He's never organised or attended a birthday party. He's not taken him to a doctors appointment, he wouldn't even have him overnight when I went into labour with dd. I've shouldered all the responsibiity, all the worry, provided for us and done everything I can to make ds happy. Any time i've tried to call his dad to discuss anything he either wont answer his phone or screams at me...so I just gave up in the end.

Over this time I'VE been the one stable thing in ds's life, his dad has had numerous partners, moved in with different women, got married, got divorced, i've mostly been single, haven't lived with anyone since his dad. The woman he's with now seems lovely and I couldn't wish for a better stepmum but oh great that they have a lovely family unit and I dont...mainly because I put my kids first and dont parade someone in front of them unless I know it's going somewhere...which it hasn't of yet.

And NOW he's concerned? Now I'M not doing a good enough job?

It gets worse. I told ds his dad had suggested he stay there for a while and ds said "maybe that's a good idea". I'm so hurt and angry...i've done everything for that child, i've sacrificed so much for both of my kids....why?

OP posts:
Gumby · 12/05/2012 21:08

I would turn it round and think to yourself ds needs help, he needs to move somewhere where there is more to do than play computer games
He might need a different environment to flourish in
This could be a godsend to you
It doesn't reflect badly on you or diminish what a great job youve done
Maybe try it for a while

Make it all about ds not your anger towards ex & his crap attitude in the past

And you will get one to one time with dd

Maybe you deserve a break from all the worry

theunhappiestbunny · 12/05/2012 21:19

I want the best for him but I can't just give my child away! I've cared for him for 13 years on my own.

Surely he's better off in a stable environment with one parent than with one who could be moving away/getting married/getting divorced every year or so?

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cestlavielife · 12/05/2012 23:41

Go speak to gp about your concerns about ds getting withdrawn etc.
And school suffering.
Consider whether spending more time with dad could be good thing better late than never ?
Don't see it as giving him away he is a teenager now you can't give him away he has to be part of what is being decided. If you dad and dad.s partner can sit with ds and agree what the issues are and what ground rules will be if he spends more time with dad it could be very positive.

Go back to school if his grades are suffering they can refer to counsellor or ?

cestlavielife · 12/05/2012 23:42

Could you move to somewhere where there is more going on ? If that is the main issue ?

littleorno · 13/05/2012 12:21

Apparently it is really common for a child to want to move in with the other parent as a teenager. Could you all talk about it together in a positive way? Maybe have a month's trial with every other weekend (minimum) at yours? This could be a great opportunity for your ds to get out of the rut he is in and meet new people. He may also appreciate you more after spending more time at his Dad's.
It doesn't seem fair I know, but I think this is one more sacrifice you have to consider making. You say you are at your wit's end, this could give you a break and improve your relationship with ds.

ladydeedy · 13/05/2012 19:40

You should try it. My DSS came to live with us two years ago - his mother apparently found his behaviour too challenging plus other issues. He has absolutely flourished ever since. She would probably say some similar things about DH (never went to parents evening, never took him to a doctor's appointment) but that is because she made it very difficult for him to be involved in such things.

He's now a very positive and thriving young teenager. His relationship, to be fair, was extremely bad with his mother but it is now beginning to improve slightly. They both needed the break from eachother and he has definitely become a happier and rounded person.

RandomMess · 13/05/2012 19:44

My eldest moved to her Dads when she was nearly 14, I wasn't happy (he has been an involved Dad though) I hardly ever get to see her etc etc however the last 4/5 months she has reallly matured when she comes "home" it's just lovely, she doesn't play her siblings off against each other anymore. Where her Dad lives there is much more for her to do cheaply in the non depth of winters.

It hurts like hell and it was done fairly sneakily but it was the best thing for her at that time.

RomyMadison · 14/05/2012 13:59

Yeah this is a tough one. I understand you've sacrificed and for all those years you were the one that was there and now he wants to live with his father? Total slap in the face. But you know what? It's a phase, I think you should sit down with him and review the situation from your point and get him to tell you how he is feeling. It'll make you both feel better and you'll understand more. Obviously you aren't the problem, but perhaps its school friends? Even the friends online could be influencing him, he's only 14 - I'd take away the laptop or cut internet connection at night and see if things improve over some time.

theunhappiestbunny · 19/05/2012 04:46

That's not the case with us though lady, it's a totally different situation. I've practically begged his dad in the past to stick to his contact arrangements and take an active role in his life. My relationship with ds has never been bad, and his behaviour not challenging up until now.

Anyway, suddenly his father is being very helpful..arranging activities for him and driving him to said activities. I don't know how long that will last but for the moment i'm more than happy with it. I found a way also to cut off wireless connection to ds's laptop at a certain time on certain days (school nights). I can set the router to cut off anything...laptops, ps3 etc. I wasn't aware of this before so thought it might be worth a mention for anyone with an obsessed teen Grin

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