Please help, any advice welcomed:
-Ex and I have been separated for 6 years.
-For first few years contact was regular & he paid a fair monthly amount of maintenance.
-For work reasons I then relocated with DC and my ex stopped contact (other than occasional phone calls)& also stopped maintenance
-I held off contacting CSA as he said his financial circumstances were difficult and that he would make up what he owed once sale of house had gone through
-After several months I realised this was not going to happen and contacted CSA. They assessed his payments at just over £5 p/w
-He was and remains very angry that I did this and things are not as amicable as they once were
-We now live closer to him and his new family again and he sees our DC regularly and they enjoy a close relationship and he does seem to want to include DC in his life
-However, I have recently found out that he has been leading the CSA a merry dance and had not declared a change of circumstances to them.
-I feel very disappointed for our DC when ex acts to all intents and purposes as if he is a responsible dad but continually shirks financial responsibility.
-The CSA are now undertaking a reassessment but this doesn't change the fact he has managed to evade fair contributions to a significant length of time
-We can no longer communicate with each other as I am very angry about the situation and he accuses me of being 'all about the money' and insists that what is more important is him playing an active role in DC's life.
-Whilst I want him to be involved, in my opinion that also means being a financially responsible parent.
-When I have tried to discuss this his standard line is 'so you're going to stop me seeing DC then - you are using money to limit access'
-To date I have never threatened this as I feel I am being goaded by him into saying it and part of me thinks it is what he wants to hear as it lets him off the hook (he has another child he doesn't see or pay for and when challenged his line is 'she will seek me out when she is older and hear the truth then!')
-I have never wanted to stop DC seeing him as never felt it was the right thing to do, but am at the end of my tether and feel I am being played for a fool and not sure I can face several more years of him parading around like superdad whilst I pick up all the bills. I just want him to do his share...help and thankyou!