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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Skint!

14 replies

happyhappymummy · 10/05/2012 14:28

Im in a bit of a situation financially and I have made a decision to take on the joint mortgage alone as my soon to be ex husband has moved out with his new girlfriend. He doesnt pay anything and isnt goig to. It a case of me having to.
Without being too nosey Im wondering on what single stay at home mums live off?
I will now be leaving myself £100 for food, fuel and clothes. This will be it no outings, cinema, soft play etc. Is this doable?

OP posts:

Eddie2009 · 10/05/2012 14:52

i think it depends on if single parents are working or not working some will have more than others etc...

i think single parents tend to always be skint well i do lol :)

Original poster

happyhappymummy · 10/05/2012 14:54

I guess! Im not working at the moment!
If its the norm then I guess it makes me feel a bit better.

OP posts:

KazzaRazza · 10/05/2012 15:21

Hi HappyHappyMummy, if you aren't working, how will you be able to take on the joint mortgage?

Are you going to pay it but his name will still be on the mortgage?

If this is the case, you should be taking legal advise as you could find yourself in a situation where you have maintained the mortgage payments but he decides he wants 'his share' of the equity.

Original poster

happyhappymummy · 10/05/2012 15:57

Hi Kazza :)
I have posted about this asking for advice on legal and this is what I was worried about.
I will be using maintainance and stupidly scraping to do it but I have no choice until I work and then I hope to earn enough. Its always going to be a worry.
His name will remain but he has said he will sign the deeds. He wants nothing to do with it as there is no equity and he wont pay half.

OP posts:

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 10/05/2012 16:14

You need to take legal advice. If you take over the mortgage you need to get it put into your sole name, otherwise he could suddenly change his mind and want half the house even though he's not contributed. The problem with moving it into your name is they might want your financial details, which could cause a problem if you have no other income from employment. The problem with leaving his name on it, I've already mentioned. You definitely need legal advice because there's some legislation or something, about how the marital home has to be paid for when one partner stays in it - get a free half hour session and take it from there.

I'd also be a bit worried about covering a mortgage just using maintenenance. What if he decides to stop paying? There are no guarantees where maintenance is concerned. How old are your DC? Could you find work, do you think? You should also be entitled to Tax Credits and I know some mortgage lenders take that into account because mine did when I had a mortgage.

Legal advice is your first port of call. Good luck.

Original poster

happyhappymummy · 10/05/2012 16:21

Hi SoftKitty :)
If he signs deeds he loses any rights to the property.
Iv posted on legal as I didnt want to be paying all of the mortgage and really struggling to do so and he walks away with a lump in 11 years time when my youngest is 16.
I have 3 children 16,6 and 4. My youngest starts school sept and Im hoing to do a level 3 hairdressing course for a year as Im only level 2 qualified. Hoping to then work. Iv been a stay at home mum for years and find it difficult to fingd employment because of this and also no qualifications. I wish I could woork now in a decent paid job. Im hoping I will earn when I finish my course.
I know its a risk but I dont know what else to do we have nowhere else to live.
I just dont know what else I can do.
Thankyou :)

OP posts:

purpleroses · 10/05/2012 16:44

Have you thought about taking a lodger? I had several lodgers over three years years, by moving my DS up to the loft room. It was fine, the one that was there longest kept himself to himself mostly and the other two I got on really well with and enjoyed having around.

I also knew a single parent who moved both her DDs into her bedroom for a few weeks each summer and rented out both their rooms to language students - which brought in quite a bit of money.

My sister has a friend who's a hairdresser who works from home - she has people come whilst her kids are around - might be a possibility for you. my sister loves going to her because she can take her kids along and they'll play whilst she has her hair cut.

If you're not working you can usually get the interest on the mortgage paid by the DSS though - don't pay it yourself if you don't have to.

Original poster

happyhappymummy · 10/05/2012 17:04

Thanks purple :)
I have a very small 3 bed with an ultra small box room and 3 girls. Its a fab idea but not sure I have the space as my eldest has just a bed and draws for her things and hangs her clothes in my wardrobe. My 2 youngest share and have a storage cupboard I keep both their clothes and they share draws with me in my room. Its very small. I would if I could.
Moving the girls in with me is an option but not sure Id be able to rent out for short periods as we live in a very small village.
My youngest starts school sept so once I get going on my course I have a few friends lined up to do their hair Im hoping this will help me build a clientel.
I am claiming interest payments now from th dwp as I dont work but my mortgage company need capital as my int only term has ended. Iv tried everything to extend but they wont.
Thanks!

OP posts:

NotaDisneyMum · 10/05/2012 17:28

Is your exH job/income secure? Relying on his maintenance to pay the mortgage is too risky, surely?

My partner was made redundant 6 months ago from a public sector believed-to-be-job-for-life, and his exW maintenance payments dropped from several £hundred to zero overnight!

Could you not sell up and rent instead? That's what I did before I moved in with DP, and we might have to do again - after I divorced, I managed to keep the family house on in my sole name for a while, but once my job went (another public sector redundancy), the house had to go as well. You would qualify for HB, I would think?

Original poster

happyhappymummy · 10/05/2012 17:43

Hi Nota thanks :)
Iv been to the council and as we are considered housed I cant claim HB.
If my house sells or repossesses then they would consider us threatened homeless and house us in shared accomodation somewhere in monmouthshire. Then Im able to claim and go on a housing list.
Then its a case of the landlord acceptind dss as this is a big problem as Iv been searching for months before I found this info out at the council yesterday.
Yes its a massive gamble and maintainance has been an issue for him as he lost his job and went somewhere where they paid him minimum wage but now he has his old job back.
I just dont know what to do. I just want to know I have a home for us. Its awful being in this position.

OP posts:

purpleroses · 10/05/2012 20:41

NADM - it's not really any more risky relying on an ex's payments to pay the mortgage than it is living with them surely? (assming you can trust him to pay what he can afford) Either way if they lose their job you're in trouble. Might be risky to take on a new mortgage on that basis (and doubt they'd let you) but if the OP can just about manage for now, and hopes to earn a bit more in the future, she should manage. £100 a week for food, etc is more or less what you'd have on benefits, so tight, but probably not impossible, especially if it's hopefully not forever.

Original poster

happyhappymummy · 10/05/2012 20:52

Thanks purple :)
Trust him hmm not sure but its what csa say he can afford so Im going by that.
Its not a new mortgage its the original but he is signing the deeds to me which takes away his rights to the property.
Yes tight but hopefully not forever!

OP posts:

NotaDisneyMum · 10/05/2012 22:58

NADM - it's not really any more risky relying on an ex's payments to pay the mortgage than it is living with them surely?

I think the difference is that when one of a couple loses their job, there are more options for the couple to consider together - if my DP had still been married to his ex, he could have looked for jobs further away and commuted weekly, for instance, or the family could relocate - that's not an option for him now if he still wants to be a part of his DC's lives, and he places high priority on that.

In the event of job loss, a couple weigh up the options together - but now they are separated, what the OP's ex considers is best for him and their DC's may result in changes for the OP that she has no influence or control over.

Original poster

happyhappymummy · 10/05/2012 23:10

I see where your coming from Nota but I feel I have no choice! Its a chance Iv got to take. If the courts were to demand half of the mortgage payments then this would be good but if he says he hasnt got it then what can they do. The mortgage company want paying, they dont care where from.

OP posts:

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